Richie and Eddie in “Unfinished Business”

Oh, nadgers. What kind do you want?

Rubber ones.

Yeah, but there's ribbed, there's tickler, and there's ultrasensitive.

Ripped? Who's going to want a ripped condom?

Must be for people who want to get pregnant. Well I don't think ultrasensitive is our style, do you? The tickler it is. Oh, nadgers. What colour?

What have they got?

There's black, gold, Union Jack and leopard skin. Which do you think's the most romantic?

Well Union Jack, obviously!

Right, a union jack tickler it is. Oh, nadgers. What flavour?

Flavour?!

Yeah, there's chocolate, strawberry, marmite and cheese and onion.

Well everyone likes cheese and onion, don't they?

Of course they do. A cheese and onion union jack tickler it is. Bagsy me first go with it.

No no, get two.

Wild man!