[on TV] It takes more than a stiff whack on the head to keep me down, folks. Trust me, I get hit harder during sex. I'm only sorry this creepo didn't have at me with a shovel during sweeps.
[turns the TV off] I knew I should've plunked her a second time! I just knew it!
Are you telling me you're the one who assaulted her?
I say that in confidence, of course.
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