You gotta get your shit together. So you took some licks, but you're gonna bounce back! Because you're talented, you're smart, and damn it, you're good! You are a goddamn American treasure, you know that? You are BoJack goddamn Horseman. So get the hell off my lawn!
Ohh... Here I thought I was at the drive-through at Carl's Jr. How much did I have to drink last night?
Last night? Oh, you've been on a bender for the last two weeks, ever since you found out Diane got engaged to Mr. Peanutbutter.
Diane got engaged to Mr. Peanutbutter?! I need a drink.
No! No more drinking! You've been out of control. [cutaway to BoJack hanging out with an old man at night]
Princess Carolyn, look. I met John Stamos!
That is not John Stamos! [next scene shows both of them by morning]
Hey, Princess Carolyn! John Stamos and I got our ears pierced.
That is not your ear! [next scene shows BoJack all by himself, upset]
Princess Carolyn... John Stamos died! [on his knees, cries] Why? Why, God? Why did you take John Stamos?! [back to present] That doesn't sound so bad.
Oh, I forgot to mention—you were naked for a lot of that. [cutaway to naked BoJack pounding the grass]
Stamoooss!!
Also, it wasn't here. It was at my office. [cutaway to naked BoJack crying at the office]
We thought night swimming would be fun, but the current was too strong!
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