Do I have a boyfriend in this scenario?
Uh, we should probably just stick to the necessary facts.
Oh, okay.
Fine, all right, you have a secret boyfriend in this scenario, one that you can't ever talk about.
What's his name?
Um, Sebastian.
He plays lacrosse. And he loves me.
Mm-hmm.
But he loves lacrosse more.
Uh, yeah.
How long is his hair?
I-I-I don't know. But it's greasy.
[throwing her head back in bliss] Yes.
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