Bluey quotes from Bluey

Chilli

Look kids, all I ask is that you eat some alfalfa. It'll stop you getting sick!

OK, dude!

Chilli

And stop calling me "dude."

Sorry, dude.

Bluey. Can it.

Sure thing, DUDE!

Bluey, I'm being serious!

What's with these dudes?

[giggles]

[in present] That was a fun three hours (!).

Chilli

Bandit! She's upset!

What? She's easy to cheer up!

No, I'm not!

Yes, you are! DUDE!

[giggling] Don't call me "dude!"

Why not, DUDE?

[still giggling] Stop calling me "dude!"

OK, Bingo, this is gonna take a serious please face.

Yes. Serious.

Let's get these ears back.... And I'm gonna need to see tears... That's good! And let's hold these. [passing over a couple of stuffed toys] OK. Let's do this. [ahem]

What do you want?

[laying it on thick] Why do you never play with us?

What?!

You're always at work!

I'm never at work!

It's like you don't even love us!

You are joking, right?

How could you not love your own children?

Ah, cheese and jam! All right.

Hooray! [they run off to start the game, and they giggle]

That was impressive.

Heyyy! Check out my big bum!

[giggles before being knocked aside]

Ooh sorry, luv! It wasn't me! It was my big BEAN BAG BUM!

Sorry, sir, we don't have any "moon sprinklers?" I'm not actually sure they exist.

Forget the sprinklers, I've got a new problem. Muffin wants the unicorn thing, these kids know which one, I need you to figure it out.

Why don't you just ask them?

Look... [quickly checks Alfie's name tag] ...Alfie, you'll understand one day. Can you help me?

[determinedly] ...Yes. I can help you.

Good man, Alfie! Alright, action!

[start the charades bit again]

See, that one's writing. I think it's "book" but I can't see any starting with "book."

You're definitely writing something. But it's not "book". It's not what you're writing, it's what you're writing with. [Gasp] PEN!

[gives a double thumbs up]

Good one, Alfie!

[to Bingo] Now what about you...?

See, I thought it was a chicken, or some sort of pheasant. Maybe a partridge? Is there a pen partridge?

Shh!

Oh, yeah, sorry.

You've got wings like a bird, but they're big wings. Come on, Alfie, you have to be helpful... Oh, you're squawking. No, that's not squawking, that's breathing. Fire! [Gasp] PENDRAGON!

Yes!

[Cheering]

Bingo! You spoke!

So did you!

Ahhh! I did!

Alfie, you rock star!

[Chanting] Alfie! Alfie! Alfie!

Hey, mate, are you his boss?

Yes?

Well, he's a legend!

[Cheering]

Why don't you have a wife?

Whoa... Well, how do you know I don't?

Do you have a wife?

Well, no.

So why don't you have a wife?

Uhhh... Her turn!

How many friends have you got?

Oh! Um... Three?

That's not many.

Why've you only got three friends?

Well, umm... Back to him!

Why do we only see you at Christmas?

'Cos I work on a oil rig.

Is that why you don't have a wife?

Oh... Maybe.

What's an oil rig?

Why is your hair so pretty?

Almond milk shampoo!

Do you wanna have children?

Yes.

Will Bosco be the daddy?

Umm, no. Bosco and I aren't friends anymore.

Who's Bosco?

[quickly] No one. Next question!

Chilli

That one can go.

Yes, boss.

Chilli

Thanks, babe.

Mum and Dad want two of you. They don't want any of me.

It's very rude.

I think it's because I'm annoying. You're not annoying at all.

Yes, I am! I'm super annoying! I'm just a different kind of annoying.

Well, it all started when Bandit got his head bald.

Hey, kids, I'm back from my haircut!

Dad!

Chilli

Right: Dinner's in the slow cooker, and they've had afternoon tea. I need 20 minutes where no one comes near me.

[distraught] What...?

Ah. Yeah. OK. Come on, kids, daddy-daughter time!

Hooray!

Chilli

And You Got a A Bald Head???

She said they were back in...

Did Mom Need Some Alone Time?

AAGH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

[defensively] Je veux la fenetre!

You don't put tomato sauce on pavlova!

[insistently] Je veux la fenetre!

That's it!

Bonjour...?

OUT!

[indignantly] Oh, BONJOUR!

Bingo, on the morning of this morning, did you see Dad fluffy in my face?

Yes, I did.

Oh, what?! Bingo, you weren't even there!

Hee hee, yes I was!

Thank you, Bingo, you can leave. [Whispered] Here's a lollipop!

[squeals with delight]

Aww, your honour!!

Chilli

Bingo, are you fibbing to get a lollipop?

Yes! [giggles]

Chilli

Give me that.

Awww.

Chilli

Everyone forget that bit. Bluey, that has not helped your case.

Okay, Muffy. There's the timer. Socks' turn now.

Yay!

I have to finish my cowboy hat.

Aw!

No. You don't have to finish your cowboy hat, you have to give Socks a turn.

But I want to finish my cowboy hat.

[warningly] Muffy.... Muffin Heeler, give your sister a turn now!

BUT I WANT TO DRAW A COWBOY HAT!

Just give her a turn, Muffin!

NO!!

[scolds Muffin] Muffin Cupcake Heeler!

Cowboy hat!

If you say "cowboy hat" one more time, you'll be in time out.

[glares at Stripe] Cow.... Boy.... HAT!!!

Okay, that's it! You're going to time out!

[Stripe walks over to Muffin and lifts her up. Muffin throws a screaming and growling tantrum including enough struggle for Stripe to grunt audibly as she's taken away. The tablet has fallen due to Muffin kicking it and now it's now facing towards the celling fan.]

Oh, boy.

Bye, Muffin.

Chilli

Dinner.... Dinner, what's for dinner...?

Cereal!!

Chilli

You can't have cereal for dinner.

Aww!

Chilli

I know! Meatballs!

Hooray! Meatballs!

I don't want meatballs.

Chilli

Bluey, you love meatballs!

[loudly groans]

Chilli

Well, what do you want?

I don't know, but I know I want something!

Aww, duck cake!

What happened?

Nothing.

Why are you hopping?

I peed on my foot.

[screams] Why did you pee on your foot?!

I wasn't paying attention.

Why not?

I was trying to get a nose hair out!

You've got hairs in your nose?! That's disgusting!

Welcome to middle-age, kid.

First off, he eats his own gravy stains!

True.

His armpits are smelly!

Correct.

His nose is hairy!

Very hairy.

He does fluffies!

Stinky fluffies.

And he peed on his own foot!

Chilli

Oh. That's a new one.

It's not, actually.

He's a grub!