Billions · Season 1
I'm making parlay with Eastern, and I need big wampum.
So this is where I just grab my ankles and take it?
I'll send over a vat of ass lube.
Chuck, what is the difference between 'ass lube' and regular lube?
Viscosity.
Like your wife says, hold the fucking position until I tell you I'm done.
I don't lie to myself and I don't hold on to a loser.
No one quits while they’re ahead. This isn’t France. It’s America.
Only people with money forget about money.
Saddle up! Body sushi at the strip joint, on me.
I'm Keyser Söze Motherfucker!
You need me, because I am willing to stare into the abyss beyond conventional morality and do what needs to be done.
The douche bag apple doesn't fall far from the douche bag tree.
We will retreat so we can attack when it is to our advantage.
BILL STEARN!
I'm back, baby!
Get your ass in my office right now. [Axelrod waits for Stearn to follow him in.] Close the fucking door!
[Stearn closes the office door behind him.]
Uh... you wanna tell me what I did here?
[Pointing at Stearn accusingly] Pretend we're having an argument.
You wanna fucking tell me why?
[Axelrod and Stearn both begin gesturing and pointing as if arguing furiously; the office is soundproofed, so the rest of the firm can only see them.]
I want the street to think that you and I are on the outs! I especially want those fuckers who left to hear about it! I wanna give Channing, Carla, and Lasa a good fucking!
I heard they went out on their own; you didn't bless that?
I did not bless that!
That's a shame! They were talented, and I kind of liked them!
Oh, so you don't wanna help me out?
Fuck that! They fuck you, they fuck me, so let's fuck them! Whaddya want me to do?
I'm gonna poke you. Poke me back!
I will poke you all goddamn day!
You throw in with them; you tell them I was a prick, when- more to come!
Got it!
You've been through a lot. You all right?
It was hell. But I survived!
When you walk out that door, I want you to tell me to go fuck myself, good and loud!
They're gonna hear me in the back office!
Come bonus time, I am gonna show you enough love, you could start a third family!
Two's fuckin' plenty!
I'm gonna shove you now!
Go ahead!
[Axelrod shoves Stearn, who shoves him right back.]
I love you like a brother.
I fuckin' love you, too, man. [Stearn pretends to storm out of Axelrod's office, pausing as he opens the door.] Go fuck yourself, Axelrod!
A normal person wouldn’t engage in the behavior. A sociopath wouldn’t give a shit. You’re somewhere in between.
Guarantee is a word that amateurs use in politics.
When I walk out that door today, we are friends for life or you don’t exist to me ever again.
Maybe generations from now, they’ll tell stories about you, like they do Jesse James or Billy the Kid. The myth is so fucking romantic.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Billions pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
