Billions Season 1 quotes

A good matador doesn't kill a fresh bull. You wait until he's been stuck a few times.

My father always taught me that 'mercy' was a word pussies use when they can't take the pain.

I'm down 4%, year to date. Everyone else is up double digits. I'm down. I'm fucked.

Wendy Rhoades

You don't need meds. You're just listening to the wrong voice. You're tuned in to the one yelling at you over the loudspeaker that you're fucking stupid and your performance blows, and you're ignoring the quiet one, inside, telling you where the alpha is. Now, that's the voice that got you here. And it's still there if you're willing to listen. What's that voice telling you?

Spyros, you wouldn't know the right thing to do if it kneeled down and sucked your tiny goddamn cock! You pull any shit like that again and I will unleash holy fucking hell on you.

Walk away.

Bobby Axelrod

I should. But then again, what's the point of having fuck you money, if you never say, 'Fuck you'?

What we do has consequences, intended or unintended. The decisions we make, The actions we bring—have weight.

Bobby Axelrod

You know, being a billionaire I never get to talk about this with anyone 'cause who's gonna give a shit? But being a billionaire, when you walk into a room, it's like being a woman with a perfect set of tits.

Bobby Axelrod

If you fuck me, I never talk to you again.

Bobby Axelrod

Get the fuck up or people will think I'm not paying you enough.

Bobby Axelrod

If we're as smart as we think we are. If not, the heat will melt us like an Almond Joy in the sun.

Mike Wagner

You see an opportunity like that again you grab it like it's a horse cock and you're Catherine the Great.

Mike Wagner

We have to be more pure than the Virgin Mary before her first period.

What gets me off would disturb you at such a deep level, honey, you'd be best-served never to think about it again.

Excuse me, sir.

What?

You didn't clean up after your dog.

Yeah, I forgot the bag today.

Oh, I don't think so because, you know, it's not just the statutory law, it's the law of civility, man. And I've seen you before. You come out of that building, your dog craps, and you just leave it where it falls.

Why don't you mind your business?

This is my business.

Oh, you're that guy.

I am that guy.

All right, well, do you have an extra bag?

No, no. See, I used mine.

Well, I'll get it next time.

No, I think you need to get it this time.

Why don't you let it slide?

"Let it slide." That sounds simple, easy. Sure, let it slide. That's just some dog shit. But those are three devious little words. You know, if if I let your dog shit slide, then I have to be okay with this whole plaza filling up with it, which it would before we know it. Oh, then it would be on our pant legs and our shoes, and we would track it into our homes, and then our homes would smell like shit, too. It'd be easy to let it slide. You know, why don't we, uh, why don't we let petty larceny slide, too? Some kid steals five bucks from a newsstand? Who cares? Well, maybe next time he decides to steal your TV or break into your brownstone and steal your fucking wife. But what difference does it make? Because by then, we're all living in shit anyway.

Come on, man. I don't have a bag.

You have hands.

What?

Use your hands.

Or? Come on, man.

Come on, buddy. [man picks it up with his hands] There we go. Thattaboy. That's the spirit.

Mike Wagner

What is it about a woman taking it into her mouth after a little raw-dogging that just seems so right? And it’s just this: that I’m accepted for who I am.