[whispering] We'll spread a rumour that we broke up. Then, when our pretend relationship's over, we can go back to being friends again
[whispering] That's a great idea! In fact, it's such a great idea, why wait for a rumour to spread? [loudly] You no good louse!
Oh dear.
That's right, Crisp. I'm breaking up with you, right here and right now.
Oh, then it's over. Bye. [Tries to leave]
You wanna know why?
Actually, I said "bye," not "why."
Ok, I'll tell you why. Because you're selfish. Everything is about your career, your job, your... hair! Then, after you neglect me, you realise how spectacular I am and you try to make it with gifts. Oh, the gifts!
I sound like a monster...
The jewelery, flowers, clothes, cattle. Cattle? Yes, cattle! What were you thinking?
Uh, they looked smaller in the catalog?
Well, they were huge. And you and I are through!
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