Jake, you watch the news last night?
How many times do I have to tell you...
Rhetorical question, stay with me, will you? So they're doing a story about violence in America, and they're interviewing some bloated senator from one of our great trailer park states. Now, does Senator Gomer advocate making guns more difficult to get? No, he blames television. What about all the violence that happened before television? I suppose the Spanish Inquisition came off a bad episode of Gilligan's Island. Oh great, now I'm out of cigarettes, the perfect cherry on this crap sundae of a morning.
Why don't you just quit, John? They're taking years off your life
Yeah, but those are the crusty old fart years where you walk around bitching at the world.
As opposed to this whole high-on-life Gandhi thing you've got going on now?
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