(first lines) Becker's here!
(three people run out the door as Becker comes in)
What I like about this place is that anytime I walk in, there's always a seat.
“Pilot” · Season 1
In this episode: Dr. John Becker (9), Regina Kostas (5), Jake Malinak (4)
You know what's killing this country? TV talk shows. I watched one last night. I should've just stuck a fork in my eye. You know, it's like America stepped in something and is scraping it off its shoe directly over my TV set. I'm telling you. Jerry Springer, Jenny Jones, they're all broadcasting straight from Hell! When I watched one the other day... I don't even know what the hell it was. Apparently, some guy wanted to be a woman, so he chops it off. Then he decides he likes chicks after all, so he becomes a lesbian. Tell me there's not a wasted step in there somewhere.
RKRegina "Reggie" Kostas
You know, Becker, you could've changed the channel.
I did. I ran across a bisexual guy having a three-way with his aunt and uncle. I tell you, if I were his dog, I'd be on my toes.
RKRegina "Reggie" Kostas
Well, here's a wacky idea: turn it off!
Don't you see it, Reggie? He leaves the TV on so he can get upset!
Nobody called on you. It doesn't matter if you turn the set off. The people are still in there! And, frankly, I like knowing what they're up to. Trust me on this one. White trash is the only natural resource this country will never run out of!
RKRegina "Reggie" Kostas
You're really a miserable human being.
Doesn't mean I'm not right.
RKRegina "Reggie" Kostas
Why don't you get a nicotine patch like the rest of the world.
I tried one. They're too hard to light.
Jake.
(combing his hair) Yeah?
If you don't want people to know you're blind, you might want to try staring into the shiny metal part instead of directly at the napkin.
(touches the napkin dispenser, of which the napkins are facing) Oh, damn.
MMan
You sure he's really a doctor? I mean, he's such an ass.
RKRegina "Reggie" Kostas
He's not just a doctor. He's a brilliant doctor. As far I as I can tell, that's his only flaw, otherwise he'd be a perfect ass.
(talking to a patient who wasn't following the diet he put him on)
Kind'a thought what? That I'll give a pat on that continent you call a butt, tell you everything is gonna be fine and send you home?
CMr. Capelli
Wow wow, aren't doctors supposed to be nice?
Check out the Hippocratic Oath, it doesn't mention nice.
AJAnnette Johnson
You just may go to Heaven whether you like it or not.
Thanks. It's the first time someone suggested I go in that direction.
RKRegina "Reggie" Kostas
So, what kind of car are you looking for?
Basic transportation. Something to get me from here to there.
RKRegina "Reggie" Kostas
Get a bicycle.
Uh-oh.
RKRegina "Reggie" Kostas
What? They're inexpensive, great exercise, and pollution-free.
Oh, yeah. That's just what I want to be. Another schmuck riding down the street with a little bell and stupid helmet trying to save the environment. Like my little two-wheeler's going to make a difference in a city with fifty-million cabs belching out toxic smoke. "Oh, little Timmy can't breathe! But don't worry! Becker's riding a bike!"
(to Reggie) I tried to warn you.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Becker pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.