[as a group of firemen are shown]
Oh God... firemen, yeah.
Yeah.
Those firemen, they're always like, like, being heroes and getting medals and stuff, but all they do is just sit around and wait and play checkers and like um, do bachelorette parties, and then as soon as I wanna burn something, they come and put it out! Yeah. I remember the first time I found out what firemen do, I was little, and I was in this vacant lot, and I started a fffire, and then the firemen showed up, and then they, they brought out this firehose, and I was like "Yeah, cool, a fffirehose! Yeah!" But guess what comes out of the firehose. Just guess, I want you to guess.
Everyone knows what comes out of a firehose.
No no, it's not what you think. I'll give you a hint: it's not fire. It's water! Can you believe that? And then they just put it out, and then they told me a bunch of stuff, how fire is bad, and then they took me back to my mom. You know, they should call them watermen! Yeah. That's what I call them, when I'm not calling them "son of a bitches."
You thought firemen start fires?
Yeah yeah, I mean, you know, the garbage man just like spreads garbage everywhere, I mean why not? I just thought, you know, the fireman, yeah. I mean they did save my life four times, you know, so... yeah, maybe they're not all bad, I don't know. Son of a bitches. Never meet your heroes.
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