[as the video opens with Doja Cat riding on the head of a giant animated horned-creature]
Whoa! Whoa, what is that thing?
Uhhh, I think it's like, from Dr. Suess or something.
Oh yeah. You know, the thing about Dr. Suess is, he's not very good, you know? It's like... he'll say like, "There's a cloothplush on my toothbrush!" And then he just draws a fake animal, you know? Anyone could do that!
Dr. Seuss sucks.
See, it's like that chick there, you know I could say, "Oh, that chick is named Zood, and she gives me wood!" See?
Uh, whoa! That was pretty good, Beavis. Whoa! We should write a children's book.
Oh, yeah yeah. Yeah, I mean, it's easy, you know? Anyone can do it.
Uh, we'll call it "Zong and His Schlong."
Oh, I know, I know! "It is the land of Zshoing, that's where I'm going. Because the chicks there make me go boi-oi-oi-oi-oi-oing!"
And then like, that animal there, we could call it a Lumbass. And then like, someone could say "What is that?" "It is a Lumbass, dumbass!"
Next thing you know, we're beloved by children.
"There once was a Kwut, who looked like a butt. When he stood up, people said, 'Uh, what?'" Or something.
There, see? See? That's like- that's like ten pages right there!
Oh yeah! Okay Beavis, get to work drawing a Kwut.
[pulls out a notepad] Yeah, okay. What does it look like?
Uh, I already told you, he looks like a butt. You're just like the Lumbass who's a dumbass.
Oh yeah, I love that guy! Okay, let me put that in there... wait a minute! You know, "Lumbass the Dumbass" could be a whole other book! We could have two books!
Uh, oh yeah.
I mean, you could do a whole series, you know? You could do like, um, "Kwut the Butt Goes to the Doctor."
Yeah. "His name was Dr. Zucks. And he sucks."
Boy, this stuff just writes itself.
Old Butt-head Yeah. "He had a friend named McVestibles, who looked like a pair of testicles."
Yeah, we'll probably even like win an award for, like, teaching kids about their- you know, their body parts. You know, we make it fun.
"The award was called the Schnads, and it looked like a pair of golden nads."
Oh oh, and then maybe someone will make it into a movie so we don't have to read it!
That would be cool. You know how people always say the book was better than the movie? No one will say that about this movie.
Yeah, it's gonna be cool!
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