Beavis and Butt-Head quotes
1300 total quotesMcVicker: Star pupils? My ass! These two are morons!
Wilson Elementary Principal: You just weren't reaching them. They've learned everything they're going to learn in elementary school. Their young minds need room to grow, so we graduated them early. And they're not coming back.
[Principal walks off]
Butt-head [to McVicker]: You just weren't reaching us, dude.
Beavis: Yeah, and if you try reaching for us, I'll kick you in the nads!
McVicker: Oh, for crying out loud!
[McVicker walks back into the school, followed by Beavis and Butt-head]
Wilson Elementary Principal: You just weren't reaching them. They've learned everything they're going to learn in elementary school. Their young minds need room to grow, so we graduated them early. And they're not coming back.
[Principal walks off]
Butt-head [to McVicker]: You just weren't reaching us, dude.
Beavis: Yeah, and if you try reaching for us, I'll kick you in the nads!
McVicker: Oh, for crying out loud!
[McVicker walks back into the school, followed by Beavis and Butt-head]
McVicker: Uhhh... Good job!
Buzzcut: Too bad! Another minute and they might have been naked! [starts to laugh too. McVicker laughs as well]
McVicker: Yeah. Look at them.
Buzzcut: Too bad! Another minute and they might have been naked! [starts to laugh too. McVicker laughs as well]
McVicker: Yeah. Look at them.
McVicker: Uhhhh, merry Christmas, everybody. Sorry I'm late, but Beavis wouldn't let me off. So I had to sneak out during my break. Uhhhh, look. Here's Christmas dinner. [he takes a cheeseburger and fries out of the "Merry Meal" box] A cheeseburger, fries, and look. Your Christmas present. [he takes the present out of the box, which are stick on tattoos with a picture of a purple panda] Stick on tattoos. Ohhh. Now share it with your brothers and sisters.
McVicker's Son #2: Wow! Thanks, Dad. This is great!
[McVicker's children are excited to see the present.]
McVicker's Son #2: Wow! Thanks, Dad. This is great!
[McVicker's children are excited to see the present.]
Megan: Dunno how you're gonna help me take care of the baby, with a controller in your hand.
Butt-Head: This chick is a horrible actor.
Beavis: Yeah, really.
Nathan: [playing X-Box] I got nothing better to do.
Megan: That's what you said like two weeks ago.
Butt-Head: Uhh, wait a minute. I think this is real!
Beavis: Oh yeah, yeah! So she's not a bad actor then! Just a bad person!
Butt-Head: This chick is a horrible actor.
Beavis: Yeah, really.
Nathan: [playing X-Box] I got nothing better to do.
Megan: That's what you said like two weeks ago.
Butt-Head: Uhh, wait a minute. I think this is real!
Beavis: Oh yeah, yeah! So she's not a bad actor then! Just a bad person!
Megan: I was hoping Nathan would step it up, but over the next few days, instead of looking for a job, Nathan chose to hang with his friends, and play video games. I don't even know where his head is at anymore.
Butt-Head: [shot of Nathan looking out a window] See? He's looking for a job!
Beavis: Gotta be one out there somewhere...
Butt-Head: [shot of Nathan looking out a window] See? He's looking for a job!
Beavis: Gotta be one out there somewhere...
Men Without Hats: We can dance, we can dance...
Butt-head: This butthole keeps saying he can dance, but it's like...he can't dance.
Beavis: Yeah, they need to go to a Pantera concert to learn how to dance.
Butt-head: They'd get their butts slammed around.
Beavis: Yeah, they'd get their butts kicked. And if I was there, I'd start kicking that one guy in the nads.
Mercyful Fate, The Bellwitch
Butt-head: This butthole keeps saying he can dance, but it's like...he can't dance.
Beavis: Yeah, they need to go to a Pantera concert to learn how to dance.
Butt-head: They'd get their butts slammed around.
Beavis: Yeah, they'd get their butts kicked. And if I was there, I'd start kicking that one guy in the nads.
Mercyful Fate, The Bellwitch
Michael (Farrah's Father): [after her breast augmentation] Looking good.
Butt-Head: Did her dad just say "Looking good"?
Beavis: Nice boobs, honey!
Butt-Head: Did her dad just say "Looking good"?
Beavis: Nice boobs, honey!
Michelle Pfeiffer: You wanna tell me what this is all about?
Butt-head: You wanna tell me what this is all about?
Beavis: The reason I brought you here, is I wanna do you.
Butt-head: You wanna tell me what this is all about?
Beavis: The reason I brought you here, is I wanna do you.
Mike Muir: ...but a .357 gonna blow your damn head off!
Beavis: Hey Butt-head, what's a 357?
Butt-head: Uh...that's like when someone turns all the way around in a circle when they're like slam-dunking or something.
Beavis: Hey Butt-head, what's a 357?
Butt-head: Uh...that's like when someone turns all the way around in a circle when they're like slam-dunking or something.
Mike Patton: I know it sounds funny but I just can't stand the pain...
Burt-head: That doesn't sound funny.
Burt-head: That doesn't sound funny.
Mike Patton: I'm easy like Sunday morning...
Butt-head: What's so great about Sunday morning?
Beavis: Yeah. Sunday morning sucks.
Butt-head: Yeah. Afternoon is no picnic either.
Beavis: You know what really sucks is evening.
Butt-head: Yeah. In fact, the whole day sucks.
Beavis: Yeah. Every single day sucks.
Fatima Mansions, The Loyaliser
Butt-head: What's so great about Sunday morning?
Beavis: Yeah. Sunday morning sucks.
Butt-head: Yeah. Afternoon is no picnic either.
Beavis: You know what really sucks is evening.
Butt-head: Yeah. In fact, the whole day sucks.
Beavis: Yeah. Every single day sucks.
Fatima Mansions, The Loyaliser
Mojo Nixon: Elvis is in your jeans!
Butt-head: Elvis is in our jeans?
Beavis: Hey Butt-head, check this out...Elvis has left my jeans!
Butt-head: Dammit Beavis, if you pull your pants down one more time I'm gonna beat the crap outta you!
Beavis: [impersonating Elvis] Thank you very much.
Butt-head: Elvis is in our jeans?
Beavis: Hey Butt-head, check this out...Elvis has left my jeans!
Butt-head: Dammit Beavis, if you pull your pants down one more time I'm gonna beat the crap outta you!
Beavis: [impersonating Elvis] Thank you very much.
Mr. Anderson: [To the police after Beavis and Butt-Head stole his lawnmower] One of them calls himself Butthole, and the other one's name is Joe I think.
Cop: And, what did these boys look like?
Mr. Anderson: I believe they were Oriental.
Cop: And, what did these boys look like?
Mr. Anderson: I believe they were Oriental.
Mr. Anderson: Large fries, pie, large coffie NOW.
Butt-Head: Uhh...
Mr. Anderson: I didn't order uhh.
Butt-Head: Uhh...
Mr. Anderson: I didn't order uhh.