Yeah! Marines are the best soldiers. Some call me 'marine', other people... Well, they call me 'hero', but I don't like putting labels on things. You wanna keep that in your room?
You know... I found out some, uh, interesting stuff about our buddy, Abe Lincoln. Turns out he had a bunch of Native Americans killed. Executed, yeah. He also proposed that black people that they go back to Africa. Got hundreds of men killed at Shiloh and Antietam [Barry sighs deeply.] News to me... Saint Augustine? The man was addicted to bathhouses, John. Now he's, what, third most googled saint? Something like that? Gandhi? The original hippie, Gandhi? He, uh... Wait, I read it. Gandhi, uh, what'd he do? Oh, yeah. His wife had pneumonia. Doctors said, "You gotta give her penicillin," but he said "no" because of his religious beliefs. But then when he got malaria, he said "give me the drug." Tricky... tricky legacy.
So, we were on patrol, and we came to this village and two elders were arguing over who killed the other person's donkey, which was a typical occurrence over there. And then, uh, a shot rang out.
Yeah. And I heard them shout my name. "Medic! Medic! Get up here!" So, I ran up there, and when I found him, he was all messed up. He looked terrible. And they told me, they said, "Clark, he's a goner." And I said, "Not on my watch." And I patched him up. And I saved his life.
Hey, everybody! It's Pastor Nick San Angelo again! And on today's podcast, we're gonna talk about how murder is definitely not a sin. Now, the Bible is filled with tons of righteous and justified killings. Most of them are my favorite part of the book! But how are you supposed to know in your own life when it's okay to use violence? Well, as many of you know, I was an enforcer for the Rockford Ice Hawks, and in 1997, I was sentenced to 10 years for killing Billy Zarillo in an exhibition game. Since then, people have been surprised about my general lack of guilt around this incident. I just tell 'em, "it's because it was done within my faith." Now, what does that mean? It means, I prayed about it and I looked for God's signs. If you go back and watch the replay, you'll see Zarillo check my teammate, Mark Flanagan, putting him in the hospital. This pissed me off. This gave me an intense feeling that I knew was a sign from God saying, "You got My blessing, Nicky."
Mr. Cousineau, I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry, I tried to fix things! Honestly, I tried to fix things! I shouldn't have given you that money! 250,000 dollars!
We don't move around a lot because of my... 'special job'. It's because we're fugitives. Do you know what that means? It means... people who are hiding from the police. Your dad... well, he escaped prison and I ran away with him.
No. Because he was a murderer. And I'm a murderer, too. I killed a man, and... I deserve whatever happens to me. But you don't. You... You're a good kid. You always do the right thing. I know I never really told you that before, but... You're a good person. I'm not. I'm a bad mother!
I used to think I was a soldier, ignoring the fact that I never fought in a battle in my whole life. I was a poser. And I fancied myself a mentor, fostering other men's natural abilities, but it wasn't until I was in prison and I got beaten within an inch of my life day after day that I finally dropped the bullshit... and just accepted who I am: a man with no heart.
New deal: I walk away right now, you'll never hear from me again. All you have to do... is admit that you killed Cristobal. Admit that you fucked up. Admit that you were scared. That you hate yourself, that there’s some days you don’t think you deserve to live. And the only thing that’ll make you forget is by being someone else.
Yeah... I don't think that's what God wants for me. I went in there tonight, prepared to die, and for some reason, He spared me. Honey... I've been redeemed.
[A shot rings out, and a bullet catches Barry in the shoulder. He drops onto a chair, examining the wound. Cousineau approaches, training his gun on Barry.]
I keep having all these nightmares -- all the terrible shit I saw in combat? It's really fucked me up. I just wanted to feel human again. And I'm sick of taking orders.
