Barry Berkman quotes from Barry

Sally

Barry!

Who's Barry?

Barry

What?!

Sally

They're making a movie about us.

Barry

...I'm gonna have to kill Cousineau.

Hey, everybody! It's Pastor Nick San Angelo again! And on today's podcast, we're gonna talk about how murder is definitely not a sin. Now, the Bible is filled with tons of righteous and justified killings. Most of them are my favorite part of the book! But how are you supposed to know in your own life when it's okay to use violence? Well, as many of you know, I was an enforcer for the Rockford Ice Hawks, and in 1997, I was sentenced to 10 years for killing Billy Zarillo in an exhibition game. Since then, people have been surprised about my general lack of guilt around this incident. I just tell 'em, "it's because it was done within my faith." Now, what does that mean? It means, I prayed about it and I looked for God's signs. If you go back and watch the replay, you'll see Zarillo check my teammate, Mark Flanagan, putting him in the hospital. This pissed me off. This gave me an intense feeling that I knew was a sign from God saying, "You got My blessing, Nicky."

Barry

Bingo!

Barry

Lord, please watch over me, and fill me with Your courage and grace. Please watch over my son, John, and fill his heart with his Daddy's love...

So you're a man of God now?

Barry

Please take away all his nightmares and give him good sleep...

You think, because you've repented, you get to choose where you're gonna go after you die?

Barry

And give his mother the strength to look over him...

You know where you're going. And you're afraid.

Barry

I just want my boy to be safe! Why are you showing me this?

I'm not showing you anything. This is all in your head, Barry.

Barry

...Why can't I feel my arms and legs?

I cut them off.

Barry

Please--

I want you to experience seeing the people you love, for the last time.

Barry

John! Oh, my God! Oh, my God, John!

Barry

Mr. Cousineau, I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry, I tried to fix things! Honestly, I tried to fix things! I shouldn't have given you that money! 250,000 dollars!

250,000 dollars?

Barry

I was trying to fix things...

250,000 dollars...

Barry

I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

For who, Barry?

Barry

Mr. Cousineau! I'm so sorry!

Barry

Sally! Sally. I'm okay. Listen, I'm sorry I haven't gotten back to you--

NoHo Hank

Hey, man! I've got two people here who want to say "Hi" to you. Say "hello"! Say it!

Dad, please come get us!

Sally

Barry. Help us.

NoHo Hank

I'll text you the address. Come quick if you want to see your family again.

Sally

I spoke to Cousineau. I went to his house.

Barry

You went to his house?

Sally

He might go to jail for Janice's murder. You need to turn yourself in.

Barry

Yeah... I don't think that's what God wants for me. I went in there tonight, prepared to die, and for some reason, He spared me. Honey... I've been redeemed.

Sally

The only way to be redeemed is by taking responsibility for what you did. And the only way to do that is... by turning yourself in.

Barry

...you should call the cops.

The cops?

Barry

I'm gonna turn myself in--

Barry

[last words] Oh, wow.

I keep having all these nightmares -- all the terrible shit I saw in combat? It's really fucked me up. I just wanted to feel human again. And I'm sick of taking orders.

No orders from me. But you will get a few notes.

You shouldn't have come back, Barry. You ruffled a lot of feathers.

You're finished, Cousineau!

You know, Barry, none of this would've happened if you'd helped me clean up that Janice mess. I thought soldiers knew how to take orders.

Sometimes, being a good soldier means... not taking orders.