Susan Ivanova quotes from Babylon 5

Ivanova

You're saying just because I'm holding this right now, I'm Green leader? But I'm human!

Rules of combat older than contact with other races. Did not mention aliens. Rules change...caught up in committee.

Susan Ivanova

Figures. All my life, I've fought against imperialism. Now, suddenly, I am the expanding Russian frontier.

Stephen Franklin

But with very nice borders.

Susan Ivanova

You got a plan?

Sheridan

Let's try not to get killed.

Ivanova

Brilliant.

Susan Ivanova

You know how I feel about telepaths.

Sheridan

Do I ever. You threw one out a third-story window on Io.

Ivanova

There was an ample pool below the window!

Sheridan

I'll assume you knew that.

Delenn

Commander, I want you to understand. I acquired human characteristics to bring your people and mine closer together! To symbolize our mutuality! It is supposed to be a dignified, inspiring transition for both humans and Minbari, so will you please explain to me why this, this, this...

Susan Ivanova

Hair.

Delenn

...refuses to cooperate?! [Ivanova gets a little closer.] I had no problems with it at first, but as time passed it...

Ivanova

[feels Delenn's hair] It's...pretty brittle. What are you washing it with?

Delenn

Washing?

Delenn

Taking on human characteristics has been something of an education for both of us!

Ivanova

Well, if you have any other problems, any other questions at all, just ask! [They step into a transport tube.]

Delenn

Well...now that you mention it...do you have any idea why I suddenly started getting these...odd cramps?

Sheridan

How many Minbari does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Susan Ivanova

I don't know, sir. How many Minbari does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sheridan

None. They always surrender right before they finish the job and they never tell you why.

Sheridan

Knock, knock.

Ivanova

Who's there?

Sheridan

Kosh.

Ivanova

Kosh who?

Sheridan

Gesundheit. [snickers] I thought that was a good one.

Ivanova

Were you like this when you were married?

Sheridan

Huh? Yeah.

Ivanova

The woman was a saint.

Ivanova

Captain, I'd like to note two things for the record.

Sheridan

Yes, Commander?

Ivanova

Item One: I don't think this protest is gonna work. Earth Central never gives in when it comes to money. But if you're determined to keep at it, I'm prepared to do the same. Item Two: You snore.

Sheridan

No, I don't!

Ivanova

Yes, you do!

Sheridan

No, I don't!

Ivanova

Captain, either you snore, or last night we had a hell of a breach in the hull. I get dibs on the couch.

Alfred Bester

They must be getting desperate to try something like this. They know we're onto them. Why else would they try to kill me?

Ivanova

Is this a multiple-choice question?

Well, you've been pretty quiet. Is he right, or isn't he?

Garibaldi

Technically? Yeah, I suppose. We're obliged to uphold the laws of Earth Alliance. It doesn't mean we have to like it. And if there is some kind of illegitimate travel going through here, it's a threat to station security and we have to know about it.

Ivanova

Come on, Garibaldi. You can't tell me you agree with this. You want to help them?

Garibaldi

Want, agree, that has nothing to do with it. The law is the law. It's damn ironic, isn't it? The Corps got started because we were afraid of telepaths, now they're victims of our own fears. We took away every right they had and shoved them into a big black box called Psi Corps. Now look at them. Black uniforms, jackboots, giving orders. Some days they scare the hell out of me.

Sheridan

Yeah, if you ask me we created our own monster. And maybe we deserve it.

It does not serve evolution.

Stephen Franklin

Well, my job isn't serving evolution -- it's serving humanity, even when the patient isn't human.

Yes, but what happens when the inferior, saved from the process of natural selection, begin to outnumber the superior?

Susan Ivanova

You know, I think we should all be moving on by now...

Franklin

I don't believe that any form of sentient life is inferior to any other.

Yes. We often hear that argument from inferior species and their sympathizers.

What do I do now?

Ivanova

Old style, you roll over and go to bed. New style, you go out for pizza, I never see you again.

Sheridan

What's it say?

Ivanova

"Next time...my way."

Sheridan

Commander, is there something you'd like to tell me?

Susan Ivanova

Welcome to Babylon 5, the last, best hope for a quick buck!

John Sheridan

Commander--

Ivanova

Oh, this is demeaning! I mean, we're not some...some deep-space franchise! This station is about something. [N]

Londo Mollari

It's a mockery! It doesn't even have any, uh...attributes.

Sheridan

Attributes?

Londo

Do I have to spell it out for you?

Ohh!

Ivanova

I see. So you feel like you're being symbolically cast--in a bad light.

Sheridan

Well put.

Sheridan

Ba-Bear-lon 5? Oh, he's a cute one. [Notices the initials on the shirt.] J.S.?

Ivanova

John Sheridan.

Sheridan

Oh, this is supposed to be me? [Suddenly turns grim.] I want it off my station. I want 'em all off my station. I want the whole place yanked out, boxed up, and shipped out by 0800 tomorrow. Is that clear?

Ivanova

I'll get right on it.

Sheridan

Oh, and...[Takes the bear.]

Babylon Control to Zeta-One. Any trace of that unidentified object?

Negative, Babylon Control. I don't see a...

Zeta-One, have you encountered unidentified object? Can you describe it?

Negative, Babylon Control. I don't think so. Not on a bet. Heading back to the barn.