Barry, Oz and others in “Unfinished Business”

Barry

I must admit, Oz, after the disappointment of not getting to Saudi, I had grave misgivings about joining you in the Falklands, mate.

Oz

Oh? Why's that, then?

Barry

I'd seen the pictures on the television, and I'd read all the papers and stuff. I knew there was no amenities, as such, but what I was really worried about was I heard about this animosity from the locals towards the itinerant workforce.

Oz

Nah, we get nae trouble from the Bennys, do wa?

No.

Barry

Bennys?

Benny in Crossroads.

Barry

Yeah?

Oz

Benny, man. Yer kna, the duck egg, the thicket. He's the stupid one, isn'he? That's what we call the locals.

Who told you that?

Barry

I think it was The Sunday People, actually. I was readin' that apparently some British brickies found some old Argentinian machine guns and went absolutely berserk and started letting 'em off at each other!

Oz

Yeah, well, you'll always get the occasional lunatic, won't yer?

D'you like a bit of sport, Barry?

Barry

Yes, I do, actually. Especially table tennis.

We have races. Don't we, Oz?

Oz

[Catching on] Oh, aye. Aye, we do, Paddy. Aye. Just for a ten spot, like. Kill a bit of time, yer kna? Are ya up for it?

Barry

Yeah, yeah. Count me in. A bit of fun, innit?

Oz

Oh aye, it's a bit of fun. Follow me. [Oz, Paddy and Barry climb through some barbed wire.] Right, get yer dough out. I'll hold on to the kitty. [Barry and Paddy each give Oz a tenner. To Barry] You've still got English money? [Pockets the money.]

Barry

Um... how far do we race, actually?

Oz

We start here, right? And we finish just at the opposite side of the minefield, right? Go! [Oz and Paddy run off to the other side, while Barry remains rooted to the ground having realised he'd stepped into a minefield!]