You've knocked long enough. There's no-one there.
[Looks through the peephole in the door] Well, they must be in the shower or something, you know.
Together?
Swedish, in't they? Very liberated your Swedes, son.
Oh... My cousin Norma's very liberated, you know. [Wayne continues knocking.] Yeah, she's... she's always walking around the house stark-naked. I said to her, "This is a council house just outside Wolverhampton, you know". I said, "You could lose this house flaunting yourself the way you do." Eric... see, that's her husband, he don't know because he works nights...
Sssh! I can hear something.
They're there, are they? [A waitress passes by with a trolley and notices Wayne and Barry listening at the door.]
Was ist los? (What's happening?) [Turns the radio off.]
Es had geklopft. (There was a knock.)
Nee, nee. (No...) [The knocking continues.] Hast du 'was bestellt? (Did you order something?)
Nein, ich nicht, aber geh' mal gucken. (No, not me, but go have a look.) [She gets out of bed and opens the door.] Ja?
About time too! What you been doing, darling? Putting your face on, eh?
Was? Wer sind Sie? Was wollen sie? (What? Who are you? What do you want?)
Speak English, darlin'! It's us! [Wayne and Barry enter the room]
Ich verstehe gar nichts. (I don't understand anything you're saying)
Wayne, Wayne... are you sure that's one of them, mate?
Yeah, of course it is. They just look a bit different out of uniform, don't they?
Was wollen Sie in unserem Zimmer? (What are you doing in our room? What do you want?)
Oh, hello. We've got company, have we? [To the woman] What's the matter, darlin'? Ain't we enough for you girls, eh?
Sind sie Freunde von dir? (Are these friends of yours?)
Nein, ich kenne sie nicht. (No, I don't know them.)
Wayne... are you sure this is Room 612, mate?
Tu' etwas! (Do something!) [The man gets his wallet and starts pulling money out]
Hey, hey, listen mate. You don't have to pay us for it, you know.
Wayne, Wayne...
Hey, what's going on here, eh? I mea, we come up here for an innocent liaison, and I find meself in some depraved situation with some geezer flashin' the old readies!
Wayne...
What is he? A blimmer or something, eh? And where's your mate?
Wayne, Wayne... they think that we're muggers.
...They what?
They... We're in the wrong room. They think that we're... muggers. [Waves]
Bloody hell. [They scarper.]
More from this episode
All quotes from this episode →More Auf Wiedersehen, Pet quotes · These quotes come from Wikiquote's Auf Wiedersehen, Pet pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.