In the sexual jungle, you're a predator you are, Wayne.
I work alone, if that's what you mean. Don't go in mob-handed like the lads. All they do is booze and talk about it. By the time they've worked up the nerve to do summat, they're all too incapable.
Have you no desire to form a permanent attachment?
Nah.
Until one day, though...
Well, maybe.
I got engaged once. I think I still am in fact.
What? Don't you know?
Well... I never broke it off officially, like. And she's still got the ring.
D'you still see her?
No.
Well, d'you write?
No.
Does she write to you?
No.
Do you care?
No, I don't like her very much.
Why'd you get friggin' engaged then?
I forgot. Er, I think it was 'cos her dad had a spare season ticket for Wolverhampton Wanderers.
Oh, well. Obviously. I mean, that could make a lad's heart sink, couldn't it(?)
Am I... Am I really a radish, Wayne?
Oh, don't have an identity crisis. Not on me day off, time's slipping by.
Well if I'm in your way, I should just, you know...
No, I said I'd fix us up, didn't I? Now just bide your time. No need to panic. All you gotta realise is there's thousands of 'em out there. I mean, birds are like the Chinese army - once you've jumped a few, you think that's it for a while, and there's a whole new battalion comes over the hill.
I only want one.
Yeah, well that's where you and me differ, son. I want the lot!
I've never been that ambitious meself.
Barry... [Noticing two ladies sitting at a table behind Barry, smiling at them] I think our prayers have just been answered.
How'd you mean?
Look behind ya. [Barry starts to turn] Don't look now! Show some cool.
Oh... [Turns awkwardly towards the ladies to get a glimpse, then back to Wayne] Oh aye, they're very, er, very tasty. What do we do now?
Not us, son. You.
Me?!
Yeah, you're the one that's gotta prove himself sooner or later. You have to show what you're made of. Now we've already had a flash.
Have we?
Yeah, when they came in. [Winks] A bit of the old eye contact. Halfway there, aren't we? Now remember, don't go promising them the world, right? Or go through all that boring preamble. Just get straight to the point. Bit of dazzling repartee.
Straight to the point, like?
Right. [Nods in the direction of the ladies.]
[Turns to the ladies] Hello. Er... would you like to come back to our hut? [Wayne facepalms]
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