[title sequence introduction] My name is Alex Drake. And quite frankly, your guess is as good as mine.
S3 E1Episode 1
[In her 1982 coma world Alex sees each member of the team in turn on a TV while in a electricals store]
Come on, wake up! The doctor stopped the bleeding in your gut months ago. I wasn't gonna come here, but we've got this missing girl and what with the guv in hiding I'm on my own. Wake up! Come on, wake up! Help me!
I couldn't get grapes so I got a melon [Alex laughs at the Chris' comment on the display] I'll leave it here for you. This Dorethy stuff, Dorethy Blond, we're all at sea on it boss, ma'am, what with the guv on the run, it's been three months now... Oh, Shaz is coming in later. We're not together anymore, but that's cool... It's not the same without you ma'am. Can't you wake up and...
SGShaz Granger
There's some melon on the floor ma'am, do you want me to clean it up? It's not fair, you made things better and then you left us. I went back to making bloody tea and biscuits. I should have got a job at Peak Freans. If you came back, I know you'd help me...
Alex? Look at what he has done to you. You don't know me, but I read all about you, you're the best of them Alex, it's not fair. He did this to you and I don't want history to repeat itself. I don't want you to end up like...
[The image cuts to flashes of all the characters who have talked yo Alex while she has been in her coma, until finally Gene appears]
Wakey, wakey Drakey. Oh come on, you weren't that shot.
[After waking from her coma in 1983, Alex is met by Gene]
What's the matter with you, you dozy mare, you walked right into the path of my shooter, I don't fire magic bullets, you know, they don't go bending in the air. They said I tried to kill you Bolls, but I knew you would not let me down, we're a team, Bodie and Doyle. I'm the one in the SAS and you can be the one with the girl's hair. Now get your knickers on, we're leaving.
[After leaving the hospital Gene and Alex stand in an alley talking. Gene drinks from a whiskey bottle]
Where did you go?
Abroad. The Isle Of Wight. That was shit, so I tried the Costa Brava. It was the best Full English I've ever had. Then I thought, "Why am I running? Gene Hunt doesn't run". I'm in a mess, Bolls.
So am I.
I'm fighting for my future.
Me too.
Get up. Come here.
[Alex stands and Gene examines the gunshot wound on her stomach]
I'm sorry. I could have hit my target but you fell all wrong.
Sometimes in life you can't help which way you fall.
You do know that when I walk through those doors they're gonna come for me?
Yeah... Well, there's only one thing for it. Let's fire up the Quattro.
[Viv stands in custody talking to a elderly woman, Gene walks in escorting Alex]
Don't worry I'm sure we'll find Tinkerbell as soon as we have... [notices Alex and Gene] Bugger me sideways.
[Gene and Alex enter the CID office; Gene eyes the information on a display board]
What's this? Dorothy Blonde, kidnapped yesterday morning.
8:21. The parents are on their way in. There's been a ransom demand.
Well, we better get her back then, hadn't we? Who's in charge of this shambles?
I am. I'm a DI now.
A DI?!
It's not that incredible. [Gene walks to the door of his office where his name has been replaced with Ray's] DCI Timmons wanted to keep hold of his office so I thought I would...
We didn't think you were coming back, guv.
Nor did I after the report you gave the enquiry.
They asked all sorts of questions they already knew the answers to.
Rhetorical.
Nah, it was definitely English.
You can't just come back in here and pick up where you left off, what about the enquiry?
Ray, if you ever come into this office again dressed like a maths teacher, I'll paint your balls the colour of hazelnuts and inform a bunch of squirrels that winter's coming.
S3 E2Episode 2
[extremely annoyed] Right, you lot, sit down and do some bloody work! I've got D&C coming down on me like a ton of bricks, and all you bastards can do is bicker like girls! It ends now! Right, can we just have five minutes peace and quiet, while I feed my hangover a small Scotch, thank you?
[After Chris finds a severed hand in the mail] Looks like you got your hand-job after all, mate.
[Keats brings Ray to his office to interview him as part of his evaluation of CID]
Take a seat Ray.
Blimey. It's hotter than a Majorcan minge in 'ere!
Sorry. Poor bloody circulation.
[Comparing their false dating forms]
You know what!? You'll get every soppy, pustular virgin this side of the Blackwall Tunnel!
[smugly] At least I'll get some replies.
[Having apprehended a potential murder suspect]
Are you a killer, Harris?
HHarris
No, Mr Hunt!
Are you a dishonest little scrotum who's been buying shit lager with somebody else's chequebook?
HHarris
Yes, Mr Hunt!
[Gene grabs Harris in a headlock]
[exasperated] Is this strictly necessary?
No, but it's bloody good fun!
[After Drake learns she was lied to at a speed-dating event]
[chuckling] The oldest trick in the book. "Oh, the wife's just died. I'm bringing up two kids on me own". Next thing you know, your ankles are right behind your ears!
Looks like you've been stitched up like a kipper, Bolly!
[furious] Little shit! Let's get him!
I know your professional pride is...
Piqued?
Trampled on like a dead rat. But one gloomy prognosis doesn't make a case, we need evidence. [to Chris] See if he's got a record.
I could go in again as bait.
No, he's already seen you. He liked them young.
[offended] I am young, you rude git!
[After Shaz has played an instrumental part in bringing down a killer]
Can I just say, that I might not have been the biggest supporter of women in the police force. [the rest of CID laugh] Hey, it's not my fault I've got an illness with a posh name! What's it called?
Misogyny.
But what Shaz did tonight was incredible. [the others applaud] And I for one am very proud to have been a colleague of yours. [the others applaud and cheer]
Right Shaz, let's put an end to this leaving nonsense!
SShaz
Guv, I thought you said you wouldn't mention it!
I lied. It's long been an ambition of mine to see you out of your uniform -- [the rest of CID laugh]
SShaz
GUV!
No, I mean out of THE uniform. What I'm trying to say is you keep up this quality of work, you'll be in CID by Christmas!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Ashes to Ashes pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.