Bart Oates and Carl in “Bart Oates”

[Bart holds up one of Carl's jerseys] The "Gnats"?? What is this Carl?

Oh, that? It's just, uh, it's a tribute! To your majesty.

Carl, by doing this you're taking food out of NFL player's mouths!

I'm sorry, Bart … but, dude! I followed your whole Pro Bowl season back in '90. You had a sack prevented index, it's like 0.9! It's ridiculous! Your blocking ratio is like 4-to-1. You were playing out of your mind that season! [in a disgusted tone] And then 1994, you frickin' signed with the 'Niners. [sadly] You broke my frickin' heart, Bart. [angrily] You pancaked it!

I was there when you destroyed my poster, and you said, "I hope he gets injured."

Enjoy San Francisco, pansy! [Carl rips his Bart Oates poster in half] [angrily] I hope you tear your ACL, jackass!!

I said that?

Three years later, I had knee surgery, and I had to retire, Carl.

So, I, I made you, like, have knee surgery by saying that?

In a way, yes, you did.

That's awesome. [pause] I mean, I'm sorry in retrospect, but that's so awesome I was able to do that! I hate the 'Niners!