Why don't you just become Christian?
That way when you die, you go to heaven, away from bad ol' Satan.
Can I do that? I mean, are they cool with vampires, because I gots to feast on blood!
No, you can only become one or the other. And the other, which is a vampire, is impossible.
Well then I guess I'm a Christian. Oh yeah, bringin in the sheaves ya'll! Who knew I had it in me? I did. Now kill me, quick!
We're not going to kill you. The moral thing to do is to let you die naturally..alone, in a pile of your own filth.
Look, it's easy. Just build a time machine, go back into prehistoric times with a satellite tracking device and a laser gun, blow up the comet, save all the dinosaurs so they don't die out and create fossil fuels, so there ain't no energy to feed my food tube.
Or we could just pull this plug right here.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah..do that!
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