MMike
Would you stand up and cheer if it was me at the door?
Archie: Well that depends, Meathead, on whether you was coming in or going out.
“Archie and the Editorial” · Season 3
In this episode: Archie Bunker (2), Mike (2), Gloria Stivic (1)
All them old Bible people, they was always eating meat, soon as they found out eating apples was wrong... Goats, lambs—who the hell ever heard of sacrificing a head of lettuce?
Did you know that 65% of the people murdered in this country were killed by handguns?
Archie: Would it make you feel any better, little girl, if they was pushed out of windows?
BMr. Bennett
So how do you propose to stop people killing people?
Archie: That's easy, you bring back the death penalty!
Bennett: (on the phone) Get Johnson in here. I want him to see something before it becomes extinct.
MMike
Drivers don't mean to kill people.
Archie: Oh no? You ain't driven a cab yet, bud.
(on TV) Now I wanna talk about another thing that's on everybody's mind today and that's your stickups and your skyjackings. Which if that was up to me, I could end the skyjackings tomorrow.
Mike: (at home) You could?
Archie: All you gotta do, is arm all your passengers. Your skyjacker knows the passengers are armed, and then he ain't got no more superiorority there, he ain't gonna dare to pull out no rod. And then your airlines, they wouldn't have to search the passengers on the ground no more; they just pass out the pistols at the beginning of the trip, and pick 'em up again at the end. Case closed.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's All in the Family pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.