Michael Vaughn quotes from Alias

It's a pretty nasty cut. Mind telling me how you got it?

Vaughn

[disguised as a priest] Someone didn't like my last sermon.

Vaughn

When's the last time you went to confession, Kiera MacLaine?

...I'm not sure how I'm supposed to feel.

Vaughn

About what?

A flirty priest.

Vaughn

I assure you my intentions are honorable... mostly.

Jack Bristow|Jack]]

Is something on your mind Agent Vaughn?

Vaughn

[hesitant] No, not really. I'm not very sleeping well.

Jack

It's Lauren, isn't it?

Vaughn

I think I see her sometimes; I thought I saw her in the market in Algeria. Did that ever happen with you?

Jack

Do I have visions of Lauren?

Vaughn

I don't know that many people who killed the woman they were married to. I was just wondering if that's what happens.

Jack

It did, now it doesn't.

How'd he pop the question?

Sydney

[posing as a married couple] He took me to...

Vaughn

Santa Barbara, actually. I had this whole romantic weekend planned. Presidential suite at the Biltmore. Candlelit dinner on the cliffs overlooking the ocean. So we went into town and she wouldn't stop talking about the zoo. So we went to the zoo. I figured I had to get it over with. Then I saw how happy it made her. That made me forget about all my stupid plans. And here we had a personal chef making this unbelievable meal at the hotel and I proposed on one knee in sawdust in front of a giraffe with a crooked neck.

Sydney

The story you told at the dealership. We were supposed to go to Santa Barbara three years ago. We never made it.

Vaughn

Karen and Dave did.

Sydney

I know what this is. This is a game to you. A cruel joke at my expense.

Vaughn

What's a game?

Sydney

You and me. Admit it.

Vaughn

No, Sydney, Sydney, listen to me. What are you scared of?

Sydney

I am scared. Scared you're gonna betray me again. Like you did when you married Lauren.

Vaughn

I would never, ever hurt you.

Sydney

Stop. Stop right there.

Vaughn

What's going on here? Girl stuff?

Nadia

People stuff.

Vaughn

[to the guard] We're old friends.

Sark

Actually, given our shared intimacies with your late wife, I may even go so far as to say that we're family. Mr. Vaughn, your timing is impeccable. The last of my broken bones has finally healed and I sit before you a fresh canvas for your aggression. But before we begin whatever inquisition you're here for, there is a pesky question that's been lingering in my head. Do you mind?

Vaughn

Go ahead.

Sark

Was it the infidelity or the espionage that motivated you to kill the woman I loved?

Vaughn

The woman you loved?

Sark

Yes. Loved. You know, she once actually told me that she longed to love you... but the mundane existence you provided couldn't hold a candle to my passion.

Vaughn

That wasn't for sleeping with the woman I was married to. I couldn't care less about her.

Sark

Gentlemen. Were you expecting a bigger party?

Vaughn

This isn't CRF headquarters.

Sark

You're a genius.

Vaughn

Where are we?

Sark

Nowhere. In particular. And that's the truth. Just a nice place for a chat. Really, Michael. Don't look so shocked. You couldn't have had such low expectations of me. Now with regards to your previous request. I will help you locate CRF leadership. But as always, you must do something for me in return.

Vaughn

Why the charade? If you were going to cooperate why run at all?

Sark

For the bubbly, of course.

Vaughn

[Talking about Weiss' last relationship] When it ended you were all, like, weird.

Weiss

Weird how?

Vaughn

You were building ships in bottles. You built many, many ships in many bottles over many, many months.

Weiss

Yeah, that's called a hobby.

Vaughn

"Hobby"? You locked yourself in a closet for a month--

Weiss

Tell me you don't still think about how I got those ships in the bottles...

Vaughn

Does this make you feel better, watching this happen?

Sark

It gives me hope that I can still achieve closure.

Vaughn

Guys like you don't believe in closure. That would actually require you to care about something.

Sark

Perhaps that's true. Perhaps all I can hope for is a moment for us all to share. You, me, her. And letting go of all pretexts and subterfuge, we can finally admit the truth. Your wife loved me. Not even death can change that. Do it. Open it.

Vaughn

You want your moment? Take it.

Vaughn

Stop.

Sark

My agreement, Mr. Vaughn, allows for this. A perfect triangular pattern, consistent with CIA training. It was you. You did this.

Vaughn

Yes, I did.

Sark

I'll take you to CRF. But I want you to face what you did. I want you to look at her.

Sark

I gave you my word, Mr. Vaughn. Am I to take it that you don't trust me?

Vaughn

You're about to betray one of your former partners; it doesn't really instill faith in your loyalty.

Sark

My past infidelities are just that; mistakes I've learned from... repented for. I've become a trustworthy man.

Sydney

Give me the pen? What if these aren't operation names?

Vaughn

What are you doing?

Sydney

Substitiution cipher.

Vaughn

Okay, how'd you see that?

Sydney

My father used to encrypt my crossword puzzles when I was a kid [Vaughn snorts, she looks up] The least of my childhood dysfunctions.

Sydney

Do you know how hard it is to maintain cover while dancing the salsa in three-inch heels?

Vaughn

Actually, I do, but let's not go into that.

Can't we just unplug it, or something?

Vaughn

Yeah, sure, if you don't mind blowing it up and killing us both in the process...