ALF and Willie in “We're in the Money”

ALF

[while using the computer] Congratulations. Your account shows you are up by $5000. Yes! Yes! Care to make another buy? Are you kidding? Does Willard Scott wear a toupee?

Willie

[comes in the garage] ALF.

ALF

Oh, hi, Willie. You're just in time to see me launch a hostile takeover. Whatever that is! [Willie turns off the computer] Hey, I was right in the middle of my game!

Willie

This is not a game, you've tapped into my stock-market service. You're investing my money!

ALF

I'm playing with real money? What a great game!

Willie

It's not a game!

ALF

You know, you can beat a point to death.

Willie

I'm not gonna let you put my house, my family my whole life into jeopardy! Now, tell me, just tell me. How much?

ALF

$5000. Ahead. We're players, Willie. Players! I knew you'd be happy.

Willie

But you could've lost everything, ALF. Let's just take this as an unexpected windfall and stop!

ALF

But I finally found a way to make an honest living. Now, granted, you'd be taking all the risks. But that's the beauty of it! Come on, Willie. Cut me loose. Let me fly. Let my people go.

Willie

Okay, ALF. You can continue to play the market.

ALF

Alright. Way to hang, Willie boy!

Willie

But only on paper! That means no money. A pencil, a calculator, a visor if you want. Did I mention no money?

ALF

In passing.