[arrives at the house and gets ready to meet ALF] Hello. [ALF pretends to bark] There's, uh, no need to pretend. I'm not...gonna hurt you. And I'm sure you're not gonna...hurt me. [ALF pretends to bark again] Oh! It's okay. I'm friendly...so are you. [ALF whimpers] Look, I know you can talk. I heard ya.
Ruh-roh.
Relax. I'm a friend of Willie's.
You're that bum who's been hanging around our trash cans.
Hey! Huh. Bums have friends.
How do you know Willie?
I was talking to him just, a-a, a minute ago. [clears throat] About this tall, glasses, social worker.
That's Willie.
Oh, well, he-he's the one who, [pause] told me to, [pause] come in here and, [pause] keep you company.
Willie told you about me?
Ah, well, not, specifically which planet you're from but, I figure it's a cold planet because of your fur. Your feet are suited to a muddy terrain. They're probably reddish-brown so that you'd, uh, blend in. Your large ears suggest a thin atmosphere that doesn't transmit sound waves very well. And the big nose indicates a scarcity of oxygen.
Hey! Watch the wisecracks about the schnoz.
Oh, uh, uh, sorry. No offense, uh, intended. It's a lovely schnoz.
Thank you. Yours is nice too.
Thank you. So, let's see. I'd, uh, I'd guess you were from planet [pause] K-171.
K-171? Oh, you mean Neesbeck. Hah! There's no intelligent life on Neesbeck!
How do you know?
I've been there. Their national bird is dust.
Well, then what planet are you from?
Melmac. But don't spread it around, okay?
You can trust me.
Good. You have any idea what would happen if people found out about me?
I can't imagine.
Have you ever heard of the Alien Task Force?
Alien Task...Force? No, I don't believe I have. What do they do?
Well, they hunt down innocent aliens, and do bad, bad things to them.
How do you know?
Interstellar grapevine.
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