Did I ever tell you guys about Thanksgiving on Melmac?
Oh, yes!
Thanksgiving on Melmac wasn't called Thanksgiving. It was called Fappiano. And we didn't eat turkey. Instead, we sat down to a nice, big, juicy, stuffed-
Time out! We know exactly what you're gonna say, ALF. And you know that we find that offensive.
What was I gonna say?
Cat! Big, juicy, stuffed, cat.
But now we'll never know, will we? I was always partial to the dark meat.
[picks up the covered empty turkey] Something's wrong here. This, this turkey feels so light.
Well, you have been working out.
[stops ALF from leaving] Hold it right there, mister. Willie, he ate our Thanksgiving turkey. Raw.
Turkey sushi.
That is the worst thing you have ever done.
Willie, every time you say that, it loses a little more impact.
Why would you do that?
Tradition! On Fappiano, you ate from the time you got up until all the presents were opened. Incidentally, I didn't see any presents under the Fappiano tree. I didn't even see a tree!
I'll, uh...I'll try to find another turkey.
And don't forget the tree! And the presents!
There will be no tree. There will be no presents. I don't think there will even be a turkey. [leaves]
This is gonna be some Fappiano.
More ALF quotes · These quotes come from Wikiquote's ALF pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.