TV QuotesDatabase
S1 E1

ALF · Season 1, Episode 1

Brian, ALF and others in “A.L.F.”

[ALF is in the living room with Brian watching TV]

Do you get Sesame Street where you live?

No, and frankly, I don't get it here, either.

WOWoman on TV

If you said, "It was the cow riding on the subway", you're absolutely right!

Brillant! This and the letter "I" in 1 day. I gotta get something to drink.

Me too. [he and ALF go get something to drink]

Where are you two going?

We've got to get something to drink.

We're parched.

Okay, but no soda pop, and nothing to eat before dinner.

Yes, ma'am.

Yes, ma'am.

Geez, what's with the warden?

[sounds of can opening and Brian and ALF come out with a drink in their hand]

I said no soda pop.

It's not soda pop, it's beer.

[burps] You're about out of Coors!

What? Give those to me! [puts beer on top of the TV]

Hey, careful. His is still full.

Now you just listen to me, ALF. I will not allow this kind of behavior in my house. This boy is only 6 years old, he is not to drink beer and you are not to drink beer. I don't know what it's like on "Mork", or whatever planet you come from.

Melmac.

What?

Melmac. That was the name of my planet. It's also what it was made out of.

What do you mean was?

Well that's the thing Kate. Ma'am. Melmac's history.

Are you trying to tell me you that you can’t go back to Melmac?

It exploded. [pause] This was my street. Now if Willie fixes my spaceship, I suppose I could start a new life somewhere else on some desolate crater field asteroid spend the rest of my life sending off gamma rays.

No ALF. No, we want you to stay here with us. Don't we mom?

Brian please try to understand.

Hey. The kid wants me to stay.

ALF, do you mind?

Yeah, no problem.

We can't hide out forever and I can't go on like this watching him every moment wondering what he's going to do next.

[ALF burps and picks up the beer and slides it away]

But he'll be good he won't break the rules anymore. Will you ALF?

Cross my heart. [sees Lucky roaming around the living room] How are you doing Lucky? See? no problem.

More from this episode

All quotes from this episode →

More ALF quotes · These quotes come from Wikiquote's ALF pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.