Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. quotes

I need a two man team to sneak over the border, find the device, and disarm it within the next 48 hours. And you have two people who fit my bill.

May

Ready to go.

Ward

I was in Georgia when the incursion occurred. I still have contacts on the other side of the border.

And you'll need them. But, we don't have specs on the device, so I need someone on your team who can recognize and dismantle it on sight.

Ward

...Do you mean...

Coulson

I think she does...

Fitz

I found a localized EMP, plus a few other party favors. [The door closes when the cart's halfway through] Oh, come on. What the... Open. It's stuck. [Coulson, Ward, and May arrive] The cart's stuck. [Fitz pulls open the door and turns back to the front of the cart] That's unbelieveable. [The door closes again] WHAT THE HELL?! Who designed this?! In the Hub, of all places! [He shoves the cart out the door, which closes on him.] Oh, that's... [Door closes, cutting off his voice. But he can be seen saying "fantastic".]

Ward

...Seriously?

Ward

[disables an enemy and sees more arriving] Fitz! More Border Patrol!

Fitz

ALREADY MOVING!!! HURRY UP!!!

Fitz

[surprised after kicking a bad guy in the face] I just did that.

Ward

[equally surprised] Yeah...

Fitz

Let's go.

Fitz

This is gonna take a while.

Ward

You have ten minutes.

Fitz

I thought you'd say five.

You yourself have designed dozens of operations like this. You know how this works.

Coulson

Usually with an extraction plan.

Barton. Romanoff. They never have an extraction plan.

Coulson

They know that going in.

Coulson

I can't think of a single time when anything alien in human hands ended well.

Skye

Wouldn't mind getting my human hands on Thor. He's so dreamy.

Coulson

Sure, he's handsome, but -

May

[interrupting] No. He's dreamy.

Recent events have thrown us all for a loop. I thought I was teaching Norse mythology. No, turns out I'm a history professor.

Coulson

So, the myth is your autobiography.

I didn't write it. I didn't want anyone to know about me. Then I had to open my big mouth.

Coulson

Were you captured? Tortured?

Horny. I met a French girl in 1546. Ah, she loved stories. So I told her a great one, all about the peaceful Asgardian warrior who stayed. Now, how was I to know her brother the priest would write it all down and turn it into, I don't know, a thing?

Coulson

Do you know Thor?

Oh, sure, I spent all my days palling around with the future King of Asgard. No, I don't know Thor. I was a mason. I broke rocks.

Fitz

No! You do not touch that! Two semesters minimum of holographic engineering before you touch this!

Skye

All right, All right. I get it. I didn't go to your stupid S.H.I.E.L.D. Hogwarts or whatever.

May

People believe what they want to believe to justify their actions.

Skye

You can catch a lot more flies with honey than with napalm.

Coulson

She took it upon herself to get them out. Said she could fix the problem. So she went in, crossed off the enemy force, didn't say how.

Skye

Did she lose anyone in there?

Coulson

Herself. May used to be different. She was always quiet, she just...she was warm. Fearless in a different way, getting in trouble, pulling pranks, thought rules were meant to be broken. Sound familiar? But when she walked out of that building it was like that part of her was gone. I tried to comfort her, but she wouldn't tell me what went down in there.

Skye

What did you say?

Coulson

I said the words I thought she needed to hear.

May

You can't undo what's been done. That will be with you, forever. But trying to hold on to this life, clinging to the person you thought you could be, that's hell. And you're dragging her down with you. You have to let go. Before my people come and make you do it. If you care about her, and I know you do, let her go. [Coulson, Ward and Sky arrive] Let the girl go, Tobias. Let the girl go.

Coulson

What did you say to him?

May

Same words you said to me in Bahrain.

Did I beat Captain America's time?

Not even close.

Ward

I'm just saying this could easily go sideways. The last time we saw this guy he was a raging homicidal maniac... [Peterson walks up] He's standing right behind me, isn't he?