Charles Prentiss quotes from Absolute Power

Now you're beginning to speak my language!

Charles

Oh, I'm not a beginner. I've always been fluent in Dirty Bastard.

Martin

The salad of strawberry and feta cheese, please, and the chicken.

Charles

Smoked salmon and the confit of duck, I think.

And for you, sir?

Er, I'll have...

Charles

(interrupts quickly) An omelette!

Oh.

Charles

And a bottle of Saint-Émilion. And a glass of Vimto for that.

Charles

Where are you going?

Martin

I'm going to my club for a glass of claret.

Charles

But there's work to do!

Martin

My dear Charles, even a first-class mind requires lubrication before shafting.

Martin

They've taken two Labour MPs hostage!

Charles

The Prime Minister's got hundreds of Labour MPs!

Are you sure this is safe?

Charles

Of course this is safe! This is a dinner to celebrate outstanding achievement by British tennis players. There's nobody here at all!

Charles

No, I'm sorry but Prentiss-McCabe has not sunk as low as that!

I've been offered a quarter of a million to talk about my experiences.

Charles

How low would you like me to sink, exactly?

Charles

Morris, there are great men and men of weight, and waiters who get to clean the grate. Go and clean the grate, Morris!

Oui, Monsieur.

Martin

Ah, that's more like it. You're much more fun when you're a complete bastard.

Do you have any ethics at all?.

Charles

Now there's a theological question.

Surely one agency can’t possibly represent two people going for the same job. There must be rules about this sort of thing. Like, I don’t know, estate agents not acting for buyer and seller.

Charles

Not only can you represent the buyer and the seller, but you can steal all the light bulbs, pee in the sink and then go and live in the house after they’ve bought it. PR means never having to say you’re wrong. But…at the risk of sounding like your Uncle Albert, this is our little secret, alright?

Charles

[Referring to a name on adultery suspect list] She's been dead for five years.

I thought she went to live in Portugal.

Charles

A not dissimilar experience.

Charles

I think this calls for the Ethiopian strategy.

Martin

Which is?

Charles

If you're hungry, go on television and appeal.

Now, one of you I've met before, and the other one has the brains. Which is which? [to Charles] I think you must be Jimmy.

Charles

Er, Charles, sir. A bit like Jimmy, but all the letters are different.

What? You'll have to speak up; I've got aids in both ears.

Charles

I said...you've got what?!

Martin

Charles, does it occur to you that Archie must have been promoted?

Charles

What?

Martin

Well, somebody must have replaced their media supremo, whatever his name was...Alas-it's-a Shambles.

He's got his own gym in Number 10. He's always up there.

Charles

Except when he's clutching his chest and falling over.

It is imperative that the President is re-elected. The future of the free world depends upon it.

Charles

(scornfully) No, it doesn't!

OK, my job depends upon it.

Charles

You know, it's one of the great regrets of my life that I was too young for Watergate.

Watergate was a monumental cock-up, Charles.

Charles

Only because I wasn't there.