(to his bank manager) How far will you extend my overdraft, for the exclusive, unrestrained, or possibly restrained, use of my body?
All S1
Characters
Charles PrentissStephen Fry · 47 quotes
Martin McCabeJohn Bird · 20 quotes
AArchie6 quotes
AAlison3 quotes
CClive3 quotes
Most scenes together: Charles Prentiss & Martin McCabe (12), Charles Prentiss & Archie (3), Charles Prentiss & Alison (3)
S1 E15Unfinished Business
You were going to spend your redundancy money on a pub.
No, no, no. I was going to spend my redundancy money in a pub.
Editor of The Sun: I am a plain man.
Yes, yes, you really are, aren't you?
EEditor
I like bums on seats.
I rather like them on bicycles.
You have that talent peculiar to the mediocre, of stating the obvious in a way that brings out the genius in a genius.
Ah, America, America, Land of the Arse.
I do so very beg your pardon?
It's true. They've all got them. Great big enormous ones. It's because they drink Coca Cola out of dustbins.
(reading) "Congratulations, as usual. Appreciate what a difficult assignment this was, and have doubled your fee. Please eat this e-mail."
BBBishop of Bath and Wells
I want you chaps to do what I believe you call a "product relaunch".
You want us to relaunch God?
The Prime Minister was returning from a speaking engagement in the North last night, when he was confronted by a billboard. An enormous billboard, saying: "Don't make me come down there! – God"
(reading aloud while typing) "So, in conclusion," erm...
Martin, it's no good typing "so, in conclusion" at the bottom of a blank screen.
Cuff O, backwards.
CBController of BBC 1
To a public service broadcaster, ratings are like sex: when you're getting plenty, they don't matter; when you're not getting any, they matter lots.
Labour has just lost one of its safest seats.
How interesting(!)
Do I have to explain to you the significance of that?
You don't have to, Charles, no. Mind you, it might relieve the tedium, if the explanation involved pulling your trousers down and doing your impression of a swingometer.
Do you happen to remember writing: "Dear Sirs, the reason I have not replied to your letters of the 26th and the 30th is that I couldn't be arsed. Yours in sport, Martin"?
Well, I may possibly have done. Why?
Well, because you e-mailed it to the Inland Revenue, who have written back in distressed tones.
I shall never forget that night I took you to Gordon Ramsay's. What was it you said? "If that bow-tied ponce serves me the squid ink, I will put it in a squid pen and write squid bollocks".
SSandy
We might have clients coming.
Well, as God once remarked to the people of Gomorrah: sod 'em.
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