You over-analyze everything with your big head!
Well you have big boobs.
Which you'll NEVER touch again!!
This conversation has taken an unfortunate turn.
“St. Valentine's Day” · Season 3, Episode 11
In this episode: Jack Donaghy (2), Elisa (2)
PPriest
Don't you have faith?
I have faith... in things I can see and buy and deregulate. Capitalism is my religion. Now, you want to have an intellectual argument? Fine, but I should warn you, I went to Princeton.
PPriest
I went to Harvard Divinity School.
[scoffs] You crimson guys never miss a chance, do you? You want a confession? Let's get this done so I can go eat. I'm divorced. I take the Lord's name in vain often and with great relish. I hit my mother with a car, possibly by accident. [jump cut] ...I almost let him choke to death right there on the football field. I looked the other way when my wig-based parent company turned a bunch of children orange. I once claimed "I am God" during a deposition. [jump cut] and... I may have sodomized our former Vice President while under the influence of some weapons-grade narcotics. [sighs] It feels good to say that out loud actually. That one was weighing on me.
PPriest
Wow! I, uh, I don't know what to say.
I don't want you to say anything. I thought I'd made that perfectly clear.
PPriest
Then... what brought you here tonight?
What brought me here tonight? What brings anyone anywhere? Why do men build bridges, why are there jets? I was hoping to have sex tonight. [glances at the priest] Have you ever made love to a woman, Father?
PPriest
[weakly] Come on, man...
How dare you say such things so close to the statue of Santa Lucia, patron saint of judgmental statues!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's 30 Rock pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.