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S3 E12

You're the Worst · Season 3, Episode 12

Jimmy and Gretchen in “You Knew It Was a Snake”

Jimmy

Dorothy's crying. It's very mucous-y.

Gretchen

Lindsay's just reciting the spoken word parts of Lemonade.

Jimmy

Such idiots.

Gretchen

We're no better than them.

Jimmy

Oh, speak for yourself. I'm not the one who flung my sandwich like a upset chimp at the zoo.

Gretchen

I threw it because I realized I was living with an uptight dildo whose personality unmakes itself anytime something bad happens.

Jimmy

Says the woman who spent weeks catatonic on the couch in crusty yoga pants.

Gretchen

I have a clinical goddamn illness!

Jimmy

Oh, right. So you just win because your condition is listed in the DSM?

Gretchen

No! I win because I am doing something about it. You're just lashing out and putting me under a microscope!

Jimmy

It just happened! He just died. Right, I am still grieving, Gretchen. Jesus Christ!

Gretchen

But I was there first!

Jimmy

Where?!

Gretchen

Here! In shit, miserable! There just isn't room for you to be broken right now, too.

Jimmy

Oh, that... that is complete... How is that okay?

Gretchen

It's not. It is completely unfair.

Jimmy

No. This is not supposed to... One person is supposed to be in the hospital bed. And then the other uncomfortably sleeping on that little couch, just sneaking home to shower and... and walk the dog.

Gretchen

Right? Right, Jimmy. And yet...

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