Wiseguy · Season 1
[in the confessional] Bless me, father, for I have sinned.
No kidding. Well then, I guess you haven't changed much, have you, Vinne?
Listen, Pete, I'm not gonna confess to you 'cause the last time I did, you told Mom and I had to wash the kitchen floor for a month.
You were six. You stole my cowboy boots.
Says you!
Pete, you know, all the people who come in here and pray, they all got problems... seventy percent of 'em can't get a bank loan; a guy can't make the payments on his house, he's got a wife and kid, he doesn't want 'em to be evicted so he goes on the street for the money. He misses a couple of payments, the next thing he knows somebody's ringing his doorbell with a steel pipe! Now you got his widow and his kid and they're praying for help!
And the Lord will provide it!
Okay, all right, but what if what the Lord provides is people like me? People to go out and get these brazholes? What if you and I are just on different ends of the same handoff?
[stares at him for a moment] How did we turn out so different... and so much alike?
[about his undercover work] Look, if I told Mom, she'd tell Uncle Pete and Aunt Celeste; they'd let it slip to Norwood, he'd tell that dingbat wife of his, and she'd tell half the Metropolitan Life Building!
She got sacked. She's home eating bon-bons and doing crosswords and hacking poor Norwood to pieces.
[shakes his head] Still, Mom couldn't keep it to herself. I shamed her, she'd have to tell somebody, and then you count to ten I'd be the captain of a fifty-gallon oil drum at the bottom of the river.
You could tell her you're working for the government. What would it hurt?
Pete, I wasn't even supposed to tell you, but I figured a guy could tell his priest anything!
Norman Winfield created the greatest single-hand weapon to date, capable of firing more than twenty rounds per second. It is also a compact rocket launcher.
Yeah, and I got a toaster that makes popcorn. So what?
In my neighborhood, possession is nine tenth of the law. The other tenth - we don't care about.
[Sonny and Vinnie are watching TV interview of the new district attorney Anthony Serrera]
[describing how the mafia bosses operate] They use the most draconian methods!
Huh?
Like Dracula.
Are you sure you OK?
Oh yeah, I'm fine. It takes more than an antenna-wielding maniac to put Vinnie Terranova on the bench!
This is going to be bad for business, Cecil!
I am the Paisley Art Death Stalker. I walk on the air! All who see me cry in wonder.
[appearing out of nowhere] Boo!
Frank!
No cotton candy?
Why did you bust us last night?
I didn't. I was up on the roof playing shutterbug. I didn't know those units were going to roll.
[Vinnie has come to visit her in the hospital, but she won't even look at him] I can't... I can't do it. It's for Pete you're in this room... not you! You broke my heart! I want you to leave!
[Vinnie has shown her his official ID, proving that he's not a criminal] Why didn't you tell me you work for the government?
I wasn't allowed to. I thought the rules were more important than anything, but I learned that they're not.
Two years! I've prayed for this! My prayers have been... [she suddenly looks sad] Oh, but what I've done to you, figlio mio. Oh Vincenzo, can you forgive me?
For what?
For not believing in you.
[Vinnie starts to speak, but she places a finger over his lips]
Oh, no, no, you're my son... no matter what they said I should have believed in you. I'm sorry.
I took something away from you that no one can ever give you back... that's two years out of your life. I shamed you, in front of your friends, la famiglia...
It doesn't matter what they think. All that matters is that I know the truth!
Mama... the reason I'm telling you this today... is because, um... I was afraid I might lose you.
[leans back in bed, smiling at him] Where am I going? I have two sons again!
[almost crying from happiness] I never stopped loving you! And don't worry... the truth goes no farther than this room. Now I'm undercover too!
What's the matter, you think I'm going to tell Sonny that Vincenzo works for the government? I got to protect my boy! Vinnie's a hero!
[listening in another room to a concealed microphone in Carlotta's room] You just lost it for me, Carlotta!
Hey, Frank. Your father really a boozer?
Only on days of the week that ended in Y.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Wiseguy pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
