[Eric Bischoff shoots on DX's recent assaults]
Eric BischoffAs I look through the crowd tonight, I wonder what you must be thinking and I wonder what Vince McMahon is thinking. You know because for the last couple of weeks he's been sending his little wannabes around demanding to talk to moi. The only problem with that is, he only sends them where he knows I'm not going to be. That's okay because I've got a little solution. Sean Waltman, you want an apology from me? You actually show up at our offices on a Monday afternoon when I think even you Sean are smart enough to figure out I probably wouldn't be there. As far as the apology goes - bite me! I apologize to no one.
[Recent ex-WWF talent Lex Luger shows up at the beginning of the Sting/Ric Flair matchup.]
Eric Bischoff
[notices Lex] Oooh, what in the hell is he doing here?! Get the camera off of him!
SMSteve "Mongo" McMichael
What is this?
BHBobby "The Brain" Heenan
Wait a minute. He's got a right to be here, this is a public mall.
Eric
Get him out of here!
SSteve
Somebody call the security guards!
Eric
[as the crowd starts chanting "Luger! Luger!"] What?! Get the security and get him out of here!
What's he doing wrong? What is he doing wrong?
SSteve
This is just unabashed arrogance.
Eric
We have a major problem here.
We have a situation starting here. A big one.
Eric
I want to know what he's doing here.
Well don't ask me! Get on the headsets to the truck, ask somebody.
[Madusa makes her way to the announce booth at the start of the show.]
MMadusa
All right. Can it everyone! [to Mongo] You too bad dog! I am Madusa, always have been Madusa and always will be Madusa. This is the WWF Women's Championship belt.
Eric
Whoa... Whoa! Wait a minute. [sees Madusa pick up a trash can and dump the belt in it] What? Look...that indeed it is!
SSteve
[as Madusa does the act] Not in the trash can!
MMadusa
And that's what I think of the WWF Women's Championship belt. This is the WCW, I am now in the WCW and they used to call me Alundra Blayze. But not anymore because this is where the big boys play and now this is where the big girls play! [dumps mic in the trash can as well]
Eric
Holy smokes! Madusa, the WWF Women's Championship and the belt right here on Nitro. The belt in the trash can and I tell you what, I'm in shock! Wow!
SSteve
Oh she got covered, she just got sucked up on that one in Connecticut, didn't she?
Eric
I'll tell you what...
Eric Bischoff
You wanted to say some-
[as Eric talks] Ken doll, you got such a big mouth and we, we are sick of it.
Eric
What do you mean? Who's we?
You know who. This is where the "big boys play"? What a joke! I tell you what, you go tell Billionaire Ted, you tell him, "Get three of his very very best." Maybe the Nacho Man! "Oooooooh....No." Hey, maybe he can get the Stinger! Ooooh, I'm so scared. You go get anybody you want because we...
Eric
Who do you mean "We"?
We are taking over. You wanna go to war? You wanna war? You got one. Only, only let's do it right. In the ring where it matters. Not in no microphones. Not in no newspapers or dirtsheets. Let's do it in the ring where it matters. If uh, if Billionaire Ted and his big boys, if they got any, uh guts...
Eric
You're stepping over the line.
Because we are coming down here and like it or not,
Eric
Not.
We are taking over. [throws his toothpick at Eric.]
Eric
[calmly] You're outta here.
Eric
You're outta here. [visibly shaken, looks at Heenan, then recomposes] I don't know what to say. We'll see you next week.
[Scott Hall appears again at the announce booth]
Just relax chico. Yo, Ken Doll, I had such a good time last week that I came back for more.
Eric
Look there's no reason...
Look, look, look, relax man, relax. You started it. You want to go to war? You got a war. You started it, we gonna finish it.
Eric
What do you mean "We"? You come up with this We stuff.
You know who man. You know who. Did Daddy Warbucks? Did he get his money yet?
Eric
[sees Sting come out] Wait a minute, Stinger. Not here, not now. Don't even dignify it man.
You came out here last week and said some real horrible things about WCW. Some real horrible things about the Hulkster, about the Macho Man, about the Stinger. Somewhere along the way, you got lost because do you have any idea where you are? You're in the jungle baby! This is WCW! That's right! Hold on! And every week you come out here and you say you want three of the best.
That's right man, three of the best.
You want three of the best, I don't see two of you. All I see is you and me. So why don't we just do this one on one right here, right now!
Yo, yo, you wanna fight man? You wanna fight? You got one. Only, no one tells me what to do and chico, nobody tells me when to do it. [throws his toothpick at Sting. Sting responds by slapping Hall] Ok, ok tough guy. I got a little, no, I got big surprise for you next week.
[Scott Hall shows up again]
Eric
Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I don't want any trouble from you. I don't want any trouble with you here, now, but I don't have to point out. You came out here last week. Where is it, the big surprise? I mean I heard a lot of talk but where's the walk? [Hall points behind Eric] What? Where is he?
[Kevin Nash, formerly known as Diesel in the WWF, appears from behind and grabs the mike]
You've been sitting out here for six months running your mouth. This is where the big boys play, huh? Look at the adjective, play [sic]. We ain't here to play! Now, he [referring to Hall] said last week that he was going to bring somebody out here. I'm here. You still don't have your three people and do you know why? Because nobody wants to face us. This show's about as interesting as Marge Schott reading excerpts from Mein Kampf.
Eric
No trouble tonight, man. Speak your piece and...
Yeah, no trouble cause you know, I'll kick your teeth down your throat. Where are these three guys? You know you couldn't get a paleontologist to get these fossils cleared? You ain't got enough guys off a dialysis machine to get a team? Yeah, where's Hogan? Where's Hogan? Out doing another episode of Blunder in Paradise? Where's the Macho Man huh? Doing some Slim Jim commercial? Hey, we're here! You wanna say something?
Eric
Look, I don't have the authority right here right now. You want a fight? Fight isn't within me. You want to face three guys? Tomorrow morning at 9:00, I'm going to be in Atlanta. I'll be in the offices of WCW. I'll try and get you your fight and do you know what? Live this Sunday in Baltimore, Great American Bash, you guys want to show up? You want a fight? You show up and I'll see if I can get you your fight.
I don't know about you but they love us in Baltimore.
Hey big man, I say me and you, we be at the Bash. Maybe these punks want a fight.
Yeah, bring what you got! The measuring stick just changed around here buddy. You're looking at it. [Tosses Bischoff around before he and Hall leave]
[Tony Schiavone and Larry Zbyszko review the Piper/Hogan match footage at Starrcade 1996 that Eric Bischoff confiscated and was somehow played, but when the tape suddenly stops as if it was taken off playback, just as Randy Anderson was about to count off Hogan as submitting to Piper...]
Well that wasn't nothing...
We did not get this - [talks to production crew on the headset] what happened? Can anybody tell me what happened? The tape stopped? The tape broke?
Someone's getting the tape in the production truck.
We're trying to find out fans, I apologize. I'm just talking to Craig Leathers, Keith Mitchell, in our video production truck. Someone apparently went and you hear the tape queueing up. You saw right there, I mean the hand was going up and it was gonna be the end of Hollywood Hulk Hogan with the sleeper. We all witnessed what happened, Eric Bischoff went into the video truck and grabbed the tape.
Well, anyway, the world saw what happened, we knew about it, now the missing footage had been recovered and what happened-
[Eric Bischoff confronts the announcers with the tape]
Eric Bischoff
Don't you ever, don't you EVER, EVER, pull a stunt like that again. You or anybody else in this organization [puts down mic and starts tearing out the tape] ever, ever again. [leaves]
He could beat up a tape, that's impressive!
[Randy Anderson appears with his family to appeal to Eric Bischoff about hiring him back after the events of Souled Out]
Eric Bischoff
Kids come on up here. It's all right Randy. It's all right, kids, could you do me a favor. Would you please tell your daddy... that he's still fired? [NWO laughs] Would you do that for me?
MAMontana Anderson
Please, Mr Bischoff!
Bischoff
Montana please, tell your daddy he's fired, get on with his life.
[mocks] Do it for little Tiny Tim!
SSyxx
God bless us everyone!
[Eric Bischoff is fuming mad at Jimmy Jett passing Randy Anderson brass knuckles during his match with Nick Patrick]
Eric Bischoff
What do you think you're doing?!? You knocked him out! What is this? What is that? You know better than that! You know better than that! You used to be a referee!
JJJimmy Jett
Hey he won the match-
Bischoff
You used to be a referee!! You are nothing! [to Anderson] And YOU. I saw it! Let me, let me tell you what you won. Now, you just won a permanent vacation and you are fired! Fired! Spell it, F-I-R-E-D! You are fired! Leave the building [pokes finger at Randy Anderson with each word] now! Now! [pokes Jimmy Jett] You're fired!
Bischoff
It's not fair! Take those with you!
[The NWO appears in the ring with Canadian flags and having brought back Kevin Nash...]
Eric Bischoff
...And now the announcement I know I have been waiting to make, 'cause I have been working on this for a long time, the newest addition of the NWO, and Bret Hart, because you were such a... [punches the air] knockout kind of a guy! [everybody laughs, knowing its a reference to Bret punching Vince McMahon after the Montreal Screwjob]
He passed the initiation!
Bischoff
We have a special, special [pulls out paper from his jacket] gift for you. Liz, can you come around here? [passes out paper to NWO members] All right let's do it. On three, one, two - this is for you, Bret - three [the NWO sings O Canada]
[The NWO meet somebody who's just arrived and Hogan earlier hinted as somebody Goldberg must defeat first to face him in the main event - Scott Hall]
[as they walk to the arena] You're toast.
Can't have a party without me, baby.
Eric Bischoff
[to Hall] God, we missed you!
Bischoff
Oh and you know how!
CHCurt Hennig
How you feeling?
Got the party goods, we got the goods for the party, let's go!
Thank you, thank you very much. I'm almost embarrassed by the response, but when I see this, I know that the twenty-five years that I've spent trying to make you happy every night of your life was worth every damn minute of it. Now...somebody told ME that the Horsemen were having a party tonight in Greenville! Could that be TRUE that the most elite group that Eric Bischoff SAID was DEAD, is ALIVE and WELL? Bischoff, this might be my only shot, and I gotta tell ya, I'm gonna make it my best. Is this what you call a great moment in TV? It's wrong, because this is REAL! This is not bought and paid for! It's a REAL - LIFE - SITUATION! Just like the night in Columbia, South Carolina, when you looked at me - tears in my eyes - and said 'God, that's good TV' - it was real! Arn Anderson passed the torch - it was real, dammit! You think Sting was crying in the dressing room like I was on TV if it wasn't real? This guy, my best friend, is one of the greatest performers who ever lived, and YOU - you squashed him, in one night. Then you get on the phone and tell me, "Disband the Horsemen. They're dead. Disband the Four Horsemen." You know what? I looked at myself in the mirror the next day and I saw a pathetic figure that gave up and quit! And for that, I owe you, the wrestling fans, I owe these guys an apology. Because it won't happen again! [Bischoff appears at the entrance way]
Eric Bischoff
You're history! This is my TV!!
Bischoff, whatever you think... You're an overbearing asshole! That's right! You're an obnoxious, you're an obnoxious, overbearing ass! Abuse of power! You! Abuse of power! Cut me off! Come on! It's called abuse of power!
Bischoff
You'll never ever wrestle on my television again!
You suck! You... I hate your guts. I hate your guts.
Bischoff
[as he walks away] This is my house! You're history!
You are a liar, you're a cheat, you're a scam, YOU are a no-good son of a bitch.
Bischoff
You're history!
Fire me! I'm already fired! Fire me! I'm already fired!
[Ric Flair and the Four Horsemen just fought off the NWO, and he's still livid over Eric Bischoff kissing his wife the week before]
BISCHOFF!!! For 25 years, for whatever I have been, good and bad, I've been a man, you son of a bitch! And good or bad, I can walk in the door of my house and know that those kids, and that wife forgave me for everything I ever did wrong because they depended on me to live day in and day out! You, you start out, you come in here, you promise me the world and then you take my career, you try to shitcan that, that didn't work, because [to the fans] they, right here, 40,000 strong, wouldn't let you do it!
It's the most intense I've ever seen him.
Then, you put your lawyers on me and you know what, you damn near broke me, but I would like to the wire, I fought you every step of the way. I gave in, I came back, not 'coz of you, but because my little boy, ten years old, walked up to me and said, "Dad, why don't you just beat the hell out of Bischoff and get back in the world?" He didn't understand politics, he didn't understand lawyers, but he understands that every day of his life, his dad said two things to him: Never quit. Promise me for as long as I am alive, you will never quit - and last Thursday night, you stepped over the line AND I ALMOST QUIT! I almost couldn't live it, you put your hands on my children, you kissed my wife, you no-good rotten bastard! What do you think my kids felt when they went to school, embarrassed? No. Shocked? No. You stepped over the line. You took something...
[Eric Bischoff appears at the entranceway]
Eric Bischoff
[mock sadness] Oh, Ric, I feel so bad.. [sees Flair running up to him; to security] STOP HIM STOP HIM!!! [security restrains Flair] Come on, come on! Come and get me, come and get me be careful with him, he's got a bad heart! He's got a bad heart! [as the officers cuff him] Arrest him! Arrest him, so I can fire him!!
[on Hogan] He's been in so many big matches.
[Hogan fakes a punch, then lightly pokes Kevin Nash, who drops to the mat. Hogan covers him.]
[as Silverman counts] What was that about? What's going on here? [Silverman counts to three. Hogan, Nash, Hall, and Scott Steiner celebrate in the ring] What just happened here?
MBMichael Buffer
Ladies and gentlemen, the winner and new Heavyweight Champion of the world, from nWo Hollywood, Hulk Hogan!
Eric Bischoff
[having been silent all night] It is unbelievable! The new World Heavyweight Champion, Hollywood Hulk Hogan!
[Jeff Jarrett reveals Vince Russo as the Powers That Be]
VRVince Russo
You know, after giving six years of my life to the World Wrestling Federation I came to WCW with one thing in mind - and that was to beat Vince McMahon at his own game! And you know what? Within a matter of weeks, the new blood in WCW was not only getting back in the game, they were changing the game! And that's when the good ol' boy network kicked in - afraid of change, and more importantly afraid of their jobs - the political BS took place in the back to bring Vince Russo down. And you stayin' at home know who you are 'cause you're watching me now. And then one day I'm told that there's gonna be a change in direction - a change that I knew SUCKED! And you know what? I wasn't the only one who knew - Benoit knew - Guerrero knew - Saturn knew - Malenko knew - Douglas knew - and they left! They're gone! Scott Steiner - he knew it, and they suspended his ass! Well you know what? That's all over now. It's done. And Vince Russo is back in charge again. And I wanna turn around now and I wanna say something to everybody in this ring. It is OVER. The old boys management is over. The inflated egos in the back, afraid to lose their spot - it is over. It is the dawning of a new day - it is your opportunity - seize that opportunity!
[Eric Bischoff appears]
Eric Bischoff
Are you done yet? Let me tell you something. This man - Vince Russo and I - have more in common than anybody knows. But the big thing is the fact that we were both screwed by the same... good ol' boys network. Vince is right - those days are over. But it's okay! I don't even mind. And you know why I don't mind? Because it's giving me a hell of an opportunity to think about all the great things I did in WCW, but it's also given me an opportunity to realize the mistakes I've made... mistakes like Scott Hall, Kevin Nash, Sting, Diamond Dallas Page, and oh yeah, oh yeah... let's not forget Sid "Wished he was" Vicious. But you know what the biggest mistake I've ever made? I mean this is the real big one. Hulk Hogan. I'm sorry - I really am sorry.
Everybody told me he would screw me - he would use me - they said, do not look into that red and yellow light because you will be blinded. Well, I was blinded, but tonight I've got 20/20 vision - I'm seeing real clearly for the first time in a long time, and right now I want to apologize to everybody in this ring - The New Blood - and I want you guys to know that if there's anything I can do for Vince Russo that will help you, I am there for him - I am there for you, because it is a whole new WCW. And where are they? Where are they, where is Diamond Dallas Page? Where is Sting? Where are they?
RRusso
I think they're hiding in the back with the old tail between their legs.
WCW Monday Nitro · 53 quotes
