[voiceover] There is a sadness in this world, for we are ignorant of many things. Yes, we are ignorant of many beautiful things -- things like the truth. So sadness, in our ignorance, is very real. The tears are real. What is this thing called a tear? There are even tiny ducts -- tear ducts -- to produce these tears should the sadness occur. Then the day when the sadness comes -- then we ask: "Will this sadness which makes me cry -- will this sadness that makes me cry my heart out -- will it ever end?" The answer, of course, is yes. One day the sadness will end.
“Episode Three” · Season 1, Episode 4
In this episode: Dale Cooper (3), Albert Rosenfield (3), Sheriff Harry S. Truman (3), Log Lady (1), Doctor Hayward (1)
Nothing beats the taste sensation when maple syrup [claps his hands] collides with ham.
[FBI pathologist Albert Rosenfield refuses to release Laura's body for the funeral.]
You're the most cold-blooded man I've ever seen! I've never in my life met a man with so little regard for human frailty. Have you no compassion?!
Oh, I've got compassion running out of my nose, pal! I'm the Sultan of Sentiment! Dr. Hayward, I have travelled thousands of miles and apparently several centuries to this forgotten sinkhole in order to perform a series of tests. Now, I do not ask you to understand these tests. I'm not a cruel man. I just ask you to get the hell outta my way, so I that can finish my work! Is that clear?!
Oh yeah, well I've had about enough of morons and half wits, dolts, dunces, dullards and dumbbells ... and you, you chowder-head yokel, you blithering hayseed -- you've had enough of me?
Yes I have. [Punches Albert in face]
...
The old rustic sucker-punch, huh? [calling after Truman] A hail of bullets would be nice!
That's enough! The sheriff didn't mean anything.
He hit me!
Well, I'm sure he meant to do that.
There's a sort of evil out there. Something very, very strange in these old woods. Call it what you want. A darkness, a presence. It takes many forms but... its been out there for as long as anyone can remember and we've always been here to fight it.
ARAlbert Rosenfeld
Mr. Horne, I realize that your position in this fair community pretty well guarantees venality, insincerity, and a rather irritating method of expressing yourself. Stupidity, however, is not necessarily a inherent trait, therefore, please listen closely. You can have a funeral any old time. You dig a hole, you plant a coffin. I, however, cannot perform these tests next year, next month, next week or tomorrow - I must perform them now. I've got a lot of cutting and pasting to do, gentlemen, so why don't you please return to your porch rockers and resume whittling.
I've had just about enough of you and your insults!
Oh yeah, well I've had about enough of morons and half wits, dolts, dunces, dullards and dumbbells ... and you, you chowder-head yokel, you blithering hayseed — you've had enough of me?
Yes I have. [Punches Albert in face]
...
The old rustic sucker-punch, huh? [calling after Truman] A hail of bullets would be nice!
That's enough! The sheriff didn't mean anything.
He hit me!
Well, I'm sure he meant to do that.
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