Prosecutor, Ricky and others in “Unfinished Business”

Thank you, Mr. Lahey, for your expert testimony, and for providing this very illuminating tape. Your honor, I think the video evidence clearly speaks for itself, and that any sane and rational person would have no choice but to convict these individuals of these ridiculous crimes.

Ricky

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, fuck.

Oh, F objection! That's the 17th time that he has sworn so far.

Richard, please.

Ricky

Alright, I'm fuck...I'm sorry about the bulls...about all the stuff, but the prosecutor is a f...he's a...he's an effin' bad guy and he's...he's pissin' me off.

He can't even speak without swearing. Your honor, this is ludicrous. It's a disgrace to these proceedings.

Thank you. Richard, since you chose to defend yourself and fire the public defender, I guess it's your turn to question the witness.

Ricky

Thank you, Your Majesty.

And Richard, before you begin, I'd like to say that I think this is a very bad idea. However, you do have a right to defend yourself, so proceed. But please remember to watch your language.

Ricky

Look, I can't speak without swearing, and I've only got my grade 10, and I haven't had a cigarette since I've been arrested, I'm ready to fuckin' snap. So I'd like to make a request under the people's freedom of choices and voices act that I be able to smoke and swear in your courtroom. Because if I can't smoke and swear, I'm fucked. And so are all these guys. I won't be able to properly express myself at a court level, and that's bullshit. It's not fair and if you ask me, I think it's a fuckin' miss draw.

This man can't represent anyone! Your Honor! He's a complete and total idiot!

Now, although I am opposed to that kind of language in my courtroom, I'm going to allow it, as unfortunately it is part of your right to a fair trial. So you may proceed, but please, I want to remind you that this is not a carnival. Richard, you have permission to smoke and swear.

Ricky

Thank you. I just gotta get some cigarettes, actually.

Ricky

Let's go, smokes!

But I've only got two left!

Ricky

I don't care. You've been a dick all morning. It's the least you can do for me.

Oh, for the love of God.

Just the defendant, please.

Ricky

My first order of business is to tell the prosecutor to shut the fuck up and wipe that stupid fuckin' grin off his face, because it's distraculating my case. Next I want to announce that Lahey and Randy have been drinkin' all fuckin' day, they're wasted out of their fuckin' minds, and they're both assholes. And the testimony they gave was total fuckin' bullshit. I can prove it and show you what really fuckin' happened here.