[During the opening sequence.]
Tonight: Toyota's new small car, can it play football?; The new Range Rover Sport, can it outrun a 120mm tank shell?; And James Nesbitt, how will he get on in our reasonably priced car?
“May 22nd, 2005” · Season 6, Episode 1
In this episode: Jeremy Clarkson (10), James May (3), Richard Hammond (1)
[on the Stig]
Some say he never blinks, and that he roams around the woods at night foraging for wolves. All we know is, he's called the Stig.
[on the Mercedes-Benz CLS 55 AMG]
Listen to that noise! It's like Barry White eating wasps.
[on the Mercedes-Benz CLS 55 AMG]
Look - it's telling me the brakes have overheated and I should "Drive Carefully". [reluctantly] All right, I'll back it off to 140, but that's it. I'm having too much fun.
[on the Mercedes-Benz CLS 55 AMG]
Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.
[on the Mercedes-Benz CLS 55 AMG]
The back seats aren't terribly comfortable, but they'll do for a short trip to the golf club. And you would be going to the golf club actually, because the satellite navigation screen only lists petrol stations and golf courses. Everything the modern Mercedes-driver needs...
Our transport department is now being run by Darling and Ladyman. [...] Welcome aboard Mr Ladyman. Pop down anytime you like and bring Mr Darling with you.
[on the diesel option for the Range Rover Sport]
You can't have this car with a diesel engine. It'd be like saying, "Well, I won't go to Stringfellows tonight, I'll get my mum to give me a lap dance, she's a woman...!" Yeah, but... [he grimaces]
[Starting Range Rover Sport vs. Challenger 2 Face-off]
So here we are on the start line: Goliath and David... Beckham.
[During the Aygo Football segment]
Door ball! That's not allowed!
[see Blue Aygo 2, with ball jammed inside door]
Would the Element be a car for people who like hip-hop, or for people waiting for a hip-op?
[The trio have chained themselves to a bus, in a mock eco protest]
What do we want?
A Range Rover!
When do we want it?
As soon as we can arrange easy financing!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Top Gear pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.