Bert quotes from Thomas & Friends

We were here first!

Hello, James. Come to learn a thing or two from those who know?

Just get my trucks ready and stay out of my way!

Yes, sir!

Little red piggy in the middle!

Just like Percy!

I'm not like Percy! I'm not a middle engine, and I'm not moving!

[after Percy whistles to 'Arry and Bert] Call that a whistle? Just listen to this! [blasts his horn]

Diesels can do anything better than steamies!

My whistle is just as good as your silly old horns!

What is all this fuss and bother?! It has caused confusion and delay!

But sir, the flatbeds were rattling.

Emily

And we heard moaning...

...And groaning!

[to 'Arry and Bert] Do you know anything about this?

It was us, sir.

For your punishment, you will go back and collect the iron at once!

Yes, sir.

Nearly there!

Nearly there!

Watch where you're going, clumsy wheels!

It's not our fault. You're a silly steamie.

The problem with working with steamies is that they are much too stinky!

And Thomas is the most stinky steamie ever!

It's not steamies who are stinky! It's the diesels!

Pee-you! You really are the stinkiest steam engine on Sodor, Thomas!

Thomas has brought the stinky cheese!

Well done, Thomas! Sodor Cheese is famous for being really stinky, and this is the most stinky cheese I have ever smelled! You are a really useful engine!

Thank you, sir!

Now go to the washdown.

Diesel, 'Arry and Bert. Now you can shunt the stinky cheese!

Oh, no!

Pe-uuu! What a stink!

There he is, look at him.

It’s Henry the Green Engine, he’s a special engine.

Hello Harry and Bert, get out of here immediately, this place is the Sodor workshops, the workshops are for Thomas and the other engines here at the North Western Railway.

By the time Rex and Mike came back, Bert was looking as shiny and clean as he had been in the morning.

Oh, we heard you had a little argument with some very rude visitors, Bert.

We heard you were covered in mud.

I was, but they cleaned me up again. They're actually very nice. They're even gonna write about me in a book and show me off in moving pictures, on the television too.

[laughs] Don't be silly, that's never gonna happen.

[laughs] He must be having you on. [chuckles]

But it did happen, didn't it?

If engines can't whistle properly, they shouldn't try.

Then why do you?

I was talking about Duck! Unlike him, I've an excellent whistle.

[laughs] If I had a whistle like yours, Mike…

Yes…?

...I'd lose it.

What?! Whistles are important, Rex! Engines without whistles aren't proper engines at all.