VSVyvyan's Mum
Hello, Vyvyan!
Piss off!
VSVyvyan's Mum
That's no way to talk to your mother, Vyvyan!
Alright then... piss off, Mum!
VSVyvyan's Mum
That's better.
What d'you want?
VSVyvyan's Mum
Well, what're Mums for?
I dunno, having babies?
VSVyvyan's Mum
Don't be so sexist, Vyvyan! (twists the crotch of his jeans.)
(gasps in pain) I'm sorry, Mum.
VSVyvyan's Mum
No, I heard you was ill so I bought you a present.
The last present you gave me was a box of matches.
VSVyvyan's Mum
That was a joke.
I was only eight weeks old... well, what've you bought me this time?
VSVyvyan's Mum
A bottle of vodka.
(smiles) Oh, brilliant! Thanks, Mum! (tips the bottle and nothing comes out.) This is empty.
VSVyvyan's Mum
Ha! Ha! Up yours, ugly!
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