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The Wonderfully Weird World of Gumball quotes

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The Wonderfully Weird World of Gumball
All S1

S1The Burger

[with a raspy voice] What the what is going on? Darwin?

[Darwin emerges from his dust-coated bowl with a groan or yawn, algae covering his face. He shakes it off and turns off the alarm with a groan.]

Ah, dude, we're late for school!

[Before he is able to respond, Gumball sneezes, creating a shockwave that completely clears the neighborhood of dust.]

[voice recovering] How late?

[Darwin picks up the alarm clock and brings it up to his eyes to check. He immediately drops it in shock.]

About seven years...

[The two let out a long, exaggerated gasp of horror. Gumball's gasp suddenly transitions into a yawn.]

Five more minutes then.

[The two immediately go back to sleep in unison]

[Gumball and Darwin roam at the strip mall]

It's not that difficult to eat healthy. It's a frame of mind.

I don't know, man. Right now I'm really hungry, and the only thing on my mind is a burger for some reason.

[They are surrounded by advertisements for Joyful Burger. Larry spins a Joyful Burger sign]

Ugh, these commercials are everywhere. Huh? [Spots Gumball floating to the entrance of Joyful Burger] Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh. [grabs him before he enters] You just have to make the right choice.

[Darwin takes him to the restaurant on the other side: Health & Greens]

[breaks from Darwin's grasp] No! I'm too young to eat like a washed-up actor pretending to live off a liquid paleo diet for their food blog.

[gives him a stare before entering] I thought you said you were hungry.

I am, but look at these faces. [points to photos of warped live action humans] They look like they're eating shredded clown to bring color back into their soulless, selfie-addicted lives.

S1The Assistant

CCar

Doors locked. [The family screams.] Destination: Bottom of Elmore Lake. [The family screams again.] Weather today: warm, sunny, with a gentle breeze.

Oh, that one's not so bad.

It's midwinter.

Climate change! [The family screams a third time.]

S1The Traffic

And then, l guess l wasn't really sure if anyone in this family had time for me, you know.

S1The Astrological

Okay. We all know I'm Penny's true love match. I think your cosmic crystal has a signal failure.

MSMister Small

What's that? There's more. Gumball and Penny, not only are you not meant to be together, you'll break up by the end of the day.

[Everyone turns around to look at Gumball and Penny and gasp in disbelief. Penny starts starts laughing then suddenly turns serious]

PPenny

Gumball, I'm leaving you.

What?

PPenny

I mean, if that’s what the celestial stone says.

[chuckles] Oh, I get it, you’re joking

MSMister Small

You may laugh, but the stars will bring forth your reckoning and a ton of cute, fuzzy feelings.

[Mr Small starts kissing the celestial stone before looking awkwardly at the class]

MSMister Small

Class dismissed.

S1The Letter

[sighs] Finally some quiet vibes after like, quite frankly a cursed day. I mean, that say was moee cursed than that - [retches] You know what? Let's not go there, this is a nice moment, let's have it, I'm just glad to actually be of help for once you know like to do this, and be part of making this whole relationship real you know? I gotcha, buddy. All day, every day. [pauses, starts stammering] l - l mean now that l project myself further for a sec l - l didn't mean like forever. [chuckles] Can you imagine? [continues chuckling] Like, like on your wedding - [retches dramatically] Well, that interesting thought was actually more cursed than today, heh. Don't picture it, otherwise... [Darwin retches as well] Yeah... you... you guys need to find a solution, a short - term solution you know? Like, quick something to, uh... resolve the issue at hand. You know? Heh, but this is nice.

CCarrie

[abruptly leaves Gumball's body] Well it was, until you ruined the moment.

S1The Pool

RRichard

It's ready. You can come out!

[Gumball and Darwin look nervous, while still underneath the steps.]

RRichard

Hurry up before the water warms up! Ah.

Okay, okay, let’s go.[Groans]

[The pool starts to boil, as Gumball and Darwin make their way. They both go to it, but hides underneath the shade for three times. Once they both jump in, the pool pops from boiling. Gumball and Darwin fall face first and now is sad.]

Gumball and Darwin: Aww.

RRichard

Oh, uh, don’t worry. I’ll just fill this up instead.

[Richard takes the plant out of the pot, then he grabs his water hose. When he turned it on, instead of water, fire came out which made Richard set everything in the backyard on fire. It also fright Gumball and Darwin a little.]

Told you we should have gone grocery shopping with the girls.

S1The Climb

[The episode opens with Coach Russo and the students from Miss Simian’s class standing in the gymnasium before a tall rock climbing wall. Each student wears a climbing helmet.]

CRCoach Russo

Alright, kids, everybody here?

[The students make various agreeable noises]

CRCoach Russo

[dramatically] Okay, today we’re climbing the rock wall!

[The students cheer happily, jumping up and down in excitement and pumping their fists. Gumball isn’t visible at first, but soon peeks out from where he’s hiding behind Jamie. He looks frightened.]

CRCoach Russo

But remember, if anyone gets horribly injured, you can’t sue me.

TTobias

Uh, I’m pretty sure we can…?

CRCoach Russo

Not since I got the gym declared an independent sovereign state! [She pulls out a remote and hits a button. A flag of herself standing on a pile of gym equipment rolls down from the ceiling, accompanied by a trumpet blast from the loudspeaker] And as leader of Gymnasia, I have diplomatic immunity! [She raises a hand in a show of patriotism and sings the national anthem, shedding several passionate tears] Gymnasia, GYMNASIA! I love this fake-country-that-I-just-made-up!

BJBanana Joe

Enough politics! Let’s go!

[The students cheer and rush the rock wall while Gumball is left alone, still looking afraid. Several of his classmates easily reach the top in seconds while he stands frozen. A dramatic shot of the wall looming over him is presented from his perspective, emphasizing its height while a sinister violin scale plays.]

[Penny and Darwin are at the bottom of the wall, cheerfully buckling their harnesses to the climbing ropes. Penny looks back and frowns.]

PPenny

Hey, what’s up with Gumball?

[grimacing] Oh, I think it’s the last time he climbed this wall.

[Gumball is sitting on the floor of the gym now, rocking back and forth and breathing heavily. He gasps as he relives a traumatic memory.]

S1The Cheapmas

S1The Survivalists

S1The Rewrite

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