But I, I really wanna get involved, and what I really... I wanna do something meaningful.
KPKitty Patton
Oh, but those jobs are so awful, honey. They make no money.
Yeah, but I don't need to make a lot of money.
KPKitty Patton
But what's even the point? Those jobs are just asking wealthy people for their money. Your job would literally be to ask yourself for money. It's all about money. It's all about the money. The money, money, money.
KPKitty Patton
Money, money, money, money, money. And if you have money, then that's what you bring to the table. You don't need to work. You throw parties. And that's work. That's a lot of work. Trust me. Your wedding took years off my life. Don't get me wrong, I loved it. I loved every minute of it. And I cannot remember a thing. I don't remember anything. I'm not kidding. I don't remember anything. It's a blur.
Mom, good news. I'm looking around the hotel, and it seems like all of the white, straight men are doing just fine. They're still thriving.
Point taken. I just think it's funny that now it's okay to reduce everybody to their race and gender, but isn't that the kind of thinking that we've been fighting against all these years?
I agree. I mean, for years, I was the good guy, you know? I was the one in the room, saying, like, "Hey, that's not cool," to all the chauvinists and bigots. But now I'm the bad guy, or at least, I shouldn't say anything on account of my inherited traits. I mean, why do I need to prove my anti-racist bona fides? It seems wrong.
It's someone else's turn to eat.
Yeah. It's not all about you, Dad. It's time to recenter the narrative.
That's fine by me. I don't wanna be the center of the narrative. Believe me. Let's center the narrative around, uh, Paula.
Okay. Yeah. What do you know about her?
Do you know anything about Paula?
I know that she goes to college with you. And that she's a very intelligent and appealing young woman.
But you've never really asked her one thing about herself.
Well, we're not on a job interview. We're on vacation. So... I mean, besides, what do- What does Paula know about me?
Girls! All right, girls, let's get breakfast. The buffet is expensive, and we've already paid for it.
Mom, Paula can't keep eating this much fruit.
I have fructose malabsorption.
She keeps getting diarrhea.
Eat some meat, Paula. Eat a sausage. I don't know. Did Quinn sleep on the beach again last night? This is not okay. You've got to be more protective of your younger brother, Olivia. You can't just make him sleep on the beach where he can be washed away with the tides.
Yeah, Olivia, he could've been kidnapped by butt pirates.
Or end up in a bukkake with a pod of dolphins.
Hey, can I ask you girls a favor? Can you try to include Quinn a little bit more in your voodoo ceremonies and whatever else you do?
Mom, he's scuba diving in the kiddie pool.
No, I know, just in general. You know, I just... I don't think you appreciate how tough things are for kids like Quinn right now.
Why? Because of the Asperger's?
He doesn't have Asperger's, Olivia. But he is a straight, white, young man. And nobody has any sympathy for them right now. And I just feel like we should. Yeah, in a way, they're the underdogs now.
Well, for instance, young guys like Quinn, who are just getting out of college, I don't care how incredibly impressive they are, it is almost impossible for us to hire them.
Well, isn't that because up until now, they're the only people that you've ever hired?
Yeah, don't you have enough of them on staff?
Trust me, I get it. I'm just saying, I understand how guys like Quinn can feel a little alienated from the culture right now.
And I don't think it's fair to him.
Olivia, he's my son, okay?
I think he's gonna be okay, Nicole.
Paula, are you feeling better? Your migraine?
Yeah. Much better. Thanks.
Is that why you couldn't stay for dinner last night?
Paula was disturbed by the entertainment.
Oh, you're, you're allergic to fire?
It bothers her to watch Hawaiians have to dance for a bunch of white people.
Oh. I think it's just a way for them to honor their culture. And they seemed to be having a really good time.
Look, obviously, imperialism was bad. Shouldn't kill people, steal their land, and then make them dance. Everybody knows that. But it's humanity. Welcome to history. Welcome to America. I mean, what are we gonna do, huh? Really. Nobody cedes their privilege. That's absurd. And it goes against human nature. We're all just trying to win the game of life. How are we, how are we gonna make it right? Hmm? Should we give away all our money? Would you like that, Liv? Hmm? Yeah, that's what I thought. Mm-hmm. Maybe we should just feel shitty about ourselves all the time for the crimes of the past? Wear a hair shirt and not go on vacation?
Mark, your truth changes from minute to minute. You're up, you're down. One minute, you're dying. The next minute... it's a wonderful life.
Okay. Well, maybe I should be more like you then. But even if I could be some self-protective corporate robot out in the world, I still couldn't pull it off at home.
Do you ever edit yourself at all? Even when you're apologizing, you're so insulting.
He seemed like a nice guy.
I just know I'm gonna get hurt.
I, I think you might be getting ahead of yourself a little, you know? Maybe he likes you.
Yeah. He likes the first layer. Maybe. I don't know. You know, he... But what about the second layer and the third layer? And then every step along the way, you know, I have to worry about, you know, is he gonna like the next layer, you know? And then I get all afraid, like, you know, how much do I wanna show him? You know, is he gonna be repulsed? Or is he gonna be alarmed? And at the core of the onion, Belinda... is just a straight-up alcoholic lunatic.
No, it is. It is. And I just wanna show my hand. I don't wanna play poker anymore. I just wanna skip all the layers, and just go straight to the crazy, and just like, you know, let the chips fall where they may. And, you know, just show him, just show him the core of the onion.
KPKitty Patton
Shane's always been a catch. He's had so many girls just throw themselves at him over the years, but he chose you. And he seems happy. You make him very happy.
KPKitty Patton
That's good.
KPKitty Patton
He says, though, you haven't been very happy on the trip.
KPKitty Patton
He did. He just said you're having a little bit of an identity crisis. It's not a big deal. And of course, it makes sense. You know, when I married Don, I had my own money, my family money, and that gave me a, you know, a little more power in the relationship. No marriage is perfectly symmetrical, you know? One person might have more money, or is better looking, the other could have the bigger career, or maybe one has more friends or cachet. Do you know what I'm saying?
KPKitty Patton
I'm just saying you shouldn't feel insecure. A lot of great girls came and went, but you won. And there's a reason you're here and all those other girls are out of the picture, you know? So I just think you should feel great.
Yeah, but what is the reason? Like, why am I here? What do you mean?
KPKitty Patton
Well, you're very magnetic, and you're so beautiful.
You're making me sound like a trophy wife.
KPKitty Patton
Well, what's so wrong with that? A trophy shines. It's a source of pride. A trophy's made of gold. You know, it's not the worst.
Yeah, but that's not what I wanna be.
KPKitty Patton
The most important thing is, Rachel, you make him happy. That's your secret power. So just keep making him happy. I know you will.
Both my parents mentally abused me and, and, and my mother still tortures me, and she's dead. And I still have her ashes. I carry them around. So now you see, that's the core of the onion. It's already... This is it. This is the core of the onion, and I don't want to... I want you to get out of here and save yourself because I'm just like a, I'm like a dead end, you know? This is a trap door. And I think you should get out. And I want you to take these things.
I want you to take 'em. I want you to get out of here now!
GHGreg Hunt
The f... I'm not gonna take your dead mother's ashes.
I want you to get them out of here.
GHGreg Hunt
What the fuck am I supposed to do with them?
I don't know. Put them in the trunk of your car. Just get them out of here. You can put them in a trashcan.
GHGreg Hunt
You're fucking crazy.
It's who I am. And I... There's nothing I can do about it. Please get out. Please. Get out. Greg, I told you to get the fuck out.
GHGreg Hunt
No. I still wanna fuck you.
GHGreg Hunt
Yeah. Come here, crazy. Come on.
GHGreg Hunt
You're not really cuckoo.
[Rachel has just told Shane she made a mistake by marrying him]
After I've wined you and dined you and asked you to marry me, and then made you the center of my life, it's just nice to know you're not pissed.
Shane, this is about me. I'm not okay with being a trophy wife, an appendage like all these other women in your world.
Okay, so you're pretty and that's part of the appeal for me, and what, that bothers you?
I just need to respect myself.
I gotta hand it to you. Ah- You-You hid yourself really well, Rachel. I mean, this whole time, I bought that you were this cool chick who was fun and confident and normal. And I had no idea that you were this insecure, naïve baby.
You're the baby, Shane. Coddled by your mommy, who showed up on your honeymoon. You don't get the room you want, so you throw a never-ending tantrum. I genuinely cannot believe what a baby-man you can be.
I just- You won't understand.
Yes, I will. I'm not my parents, Paula.
But you are. Actually, you are. And you think you're like this rebel, but in the end... this is your tribe. Your family, the people here.
That's really manipulative, Paula. You're the one who stole, yet I'm the bad guy?
Don't give me that. You've stolen, too.
[exasperated] What did I steal?
Well, I guess it's not stealing when you think everything's already yours. Just stop pretending to be my friend. I'm just some prop you use for some weird cred.
Whatever you did, Paula, it was really fucked up. My mom could've gotten really hurt. Something bad could've happened.
Something bad did happen.
[Shane is on the phone complaining to hotel staff about the feces found in his suitcase]
Yeah, I'm in the Pineapple Suite, and there's a fucking turd in my room! [pause] Somebody got in here and took a shit. Not in the toilet. In my luggage. On my clothes! [pause] What the fuck? No, it isn't anyone in my party. It wasn't me, and my wife doesn't shit on the goddamn *floor*!
Anyway, we're gonna be leaving early, and I, I really just wanted to make sure that I didn't miss you. Belinda, you're an amazing person. You are. I mean, you've helped me so much. I was a mess. I showed up here, and, and somehow, you were able to just jumpstart my life again. And I don't think I'm ever gonna be functional. But I do think that now, I'll be able to break some old patterns.
Anyway, about the business... I really need to think about it. I mean, you're so talented and I so wanna do this for you, but I'm realizing I'm getting back into this pattern again where I latch on to somebody and then I use my money to control them and see, right now, the, the last thing I need in my life is another transactional relationship. You know, it's just, it's not healthy for me, you know? Anyway, I really, I want you to know how grateful I am and I want you to have this. Here. I'm gonna call you.
