The President wants altitude.
As befits this vertiginous choice? [Toby stands up] Distinguished is as high as we go; you have to be high to go loftier. Here's what it should be. [Will begins typing] In a triumph of the middling, a nod to mediocrity, and with gorge rising, it gives me great nausea to announce Robert Russell — Bingo Bob, himself — as your new Vice President.
This lapdog of the mining interests is as dull as he is unremarkable...
...as lackluster as he is soporific.
Good.
This reversion to the mean...
This rebuke to the exemplary...
...gives hope to the millions unfavored by the exceptional...
Yes.
The Vice Presidency, being famously once described as not being worth a warm bucket of spit; let's now hock a big loogie for Bob Russell. Not the worst. Not the best. Just what we're stuck with.
Amen.
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