In a triumph of the middling, a nod to mediocrity, and with gorge rising, it gives me great nausea to announce Robert Russell -- Bingo Bob, himself -- as your new Vice President.
This lapdog of the mining interests is as dull as he is unremarkable...
...as lackluster as he is soporific. This reversion to the mean...
...this rebuke to the exemplary...
...gives hope to the millions unfavored by the exceptional...
not the worst, not the best, just what we're stuck with.
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