Josh and C.J. in “The U.S. Poet Laureate”

Josh

[about his fan website] C.J., it's a... crazy place. It's got this dictatorial leader, who I'm sure wears a muumuu and chain smokes Parliaments.

C.J.

What did you go there for in the first place?

Josh

It's called LemonLyman.com.

C.J.

Let me explain something to you. This is sort of my field. The people on these sites? They're the cast of One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest. The muu-muu-wearing Parliament smoker? That's Nurse Ratched. When Nurse Ratched is unhappy, the patients are unhappy. You? You're McMurphy. You swoop in with your card games and fishing trips -

Josh

I didn't swoop in, I came in the exact same way everyone else did.

C.J.

Well, now I'm telling you to open the wardroom window and climb on out before they give you a pre-frontal lobotomy and I have to smother you with a pillow.

Josh

[pause] You're...?

C.J.

[nodding] I'm Chief Bromden, yes, at this particular moment. I'm assigning an intern from the press office to that website. They're going to check it every night before they go home. If they discover you've been there I'm going to shove a motherboard so far up your ass - What?

Josh

Technically, I outrank you...

C.J.

So far up your ass!

Josh

Okay.

C.J.

Okay.