Behold! The Ring of Power!! Eons have been waiting for he who can wear the magic and not melt or burst into flames or something...
Giant Boy Detective! You're real!! Are we gonna solve a mystery?
No, young'un. We are going to save the kingdom and restore Princess Tinglepants to the throne, then peace shall reign for eternity!
(unenthusiastic) Oh.. Okay...
...And solve a super cool mystery?
(enthusiastic) Yay!! You're a short giant. Aren't you like 30 feet tall in the books?
Oh, if you think I'm a disappointment, you should see Clifford. He's, like, the size of one of those little dogs rich ladies drag around. Plus, he's more pink than red. Anyways, the Magic Flashlight shall lead the way!! (flashlight burns out) Stupid fucking enchanted batteries...
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