Matthew Hodge, Fergus and others in “Series 4, Episode 6”

(to Fergus) Did you see Mr. Malcolm Tucker's evidence earlier?

Fergus

Uh, yeah, I-Uh, uh, I saw it out of the, out of the corner of my eye.

Would you like me to read what he said about you?

Fergus

Uh, no, that's fine, that was the bit that I saw.

Embarrassing, I imagine?

Fergus

(emabarrassed, but gathering himself) Uh, no, not at all. It was, um, almost, uh, flattering, yeah...uh, to get, uh, to get "Tuckered." It's a, it's a rite of passage in-in-in, in politics. Happens to all of us. It's, you know, it's like when you're in a Russian jail, you get your face tattooed.

Mr. Tucker mentioned meetings between you and the Leader of the Opposition. Did these take place?

Fergus

(after a pause) They did, yes. Er, myself and, uh, Adam were part of a team who had very general, noncommittal discussions with, amongst others, Mr. Miller.

And you discussed a potential future coalition with his party and the removal of your own party leader, is that correct?

Fergus

(taken aback) Sorry, could I possibly answer that question with another question? I mean, not that question I'm just asking, but a further question?

Go on.

Fergus

You do realise that you're being spun here, you do see that?

Spun?

Fergus

'Cause, you know, Malcolm Tucker's not your common or garden spin doctor, right? No, he's the-he's...he's the chief medical officer of spin – he is Spinoza, you see? So he, he didn't come here in order to answer your questions, he came here in order to get you to then ask his questions.

Yeah, right, Mr. Williams, I don't want you to answer a question with another question, I want you to answer it with an answer.

Fergus

I mean, he's conducting you like, um – Goldie.

Did you talk to Mr. Miller about removing your party leader?

Fergus

(in disbelief) Sorry, are you getting Tucker's questions sort of beamed straight into your brain?

(firmly) Mr. Williams.

Finally, um, on the subject of frustration, would you say it's difficult to steer policy ideas through your department?

Fergus

(stumbling in his testimony) Uh, yes, there are, uh...blockages. Uh, there is one person in particular and, well, you know, I don't want to identify her -- or him, if she was a man. Uh, but this particular person, uh, is rather inept and has hampered a lot of our initiatives. And she, or her, or him is, um...very difficult to remove. And so she's a, he is a...they are a stubborn blockage, shall we say, like, you know, when you get hair and soap in a-in a-in a plughole with skin flakes.

(reassuring) Thank you. Thank you, Mr. Williams. That's, that's fine.

Fergus

Sorry, can I just say...

We are very pressed for time, I'm afraid.

Fergus

Yeah, but I really didn't want the last thing I said...

I'm sorry.

Fergus

...to be "skin flakes."

Thank you.