The Rockford Files · Season 1
This is Jim Rockford. At the tone leave your name and message, I'll get back to you.
[beeep] Jimmy, it's Phil in Puerto Rico. This is real important. Talked to Mr. [crackling line noise], he'll pay $20,000. Call him at 231… [crackling line noise] ...638.
Warren is a brilliant chess player.
He's a turkey!
My next attorney's going to be a foundling - someone with no known living relatives.
I'm the one who spent the night on the county, Beth!
And everybody has apologized. Now will you listen to me?
You got a big, smart mouth with contempt for the law and the people who try to enforce it!
Not all of them, lieutenant.
This is Jim Rockford. At the tone leave your name and message, I'll get back to you.
[Beeep] Bum-mer! I call up with some good vibes and positive energies and talk to a robot? For-get you man!
[in his finest con-job Texan billionaire drawl] Nick, I've got a thing about loose talk. If you were to run out into the brush for about nine miles and whisper this to a gopher, I'd make it a personal point to bust the wheels off your wagon.
Why don't we start by having dinner?
Alright. Do you like halibut?
Oh yeah, I love it.
Fine, fine. We'll stop by Blast Gillette's on the way and pick one up.
What does he mean by calling me a halibut?
It's a fish that swims on the bottom.
I don't like him.
[Kenny has taken out a hygienic damp cloth, wiping his hands compulsively] I once heard of a guy name Kenny something who was, like, kind of a cleanliness nut.
Agent Reinhardt has a skin rash; he picked it up in South-east Asia last year. Hasn't cleared up yet, huh Frank?
Doc says if it doesn't go away by Wednesday, they'll have to try steroids.
This is Jim Rockford. At the tone leave your name and message, I'll get back to you.
[beeep] This is Department of the Army. Our records show you are the Rockford, James who failed to turn in his service automatic in May 1953. Contact us at once!
I mean I checked the phone books; I checked all of the model agencies...
That's a waste of time; she's not a model. All right, she's blue eyed, very thin, but both of you said she was 5'-4". You've got to be at least 5'-7" to be a model; designer's clothes hang better on taller women.
Who are you? Eve St. Lawrence?
Why you're on a real crusade, aren't you. You're a regular Sir Guinevere!
Okay, Vern, what's your problem? Rabies?
Whatcha doin'?
Oh, just putting up my guard like I always do when somebody sticks their nose in my business.
Your business is my business as long as you're loitering here, staring at those apartments. We're with building security.
No, you're not, you got out of that Vette back there just a minute ago.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Rockford Files pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
