I smell cooking. Is Grandma here?
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
RMs. Rinsky
You take the "m" off of mom, replace it with "gl", you know what you got? Glom. Want me to conjugate it for you? To Glom. She gloms. She's a Glommy Mommy.
I AM NOT A GLOMMY MOMMY!!!
There's not much you can't accomplish in this town with a case of beer and a wheel of cheese.
RHRusty Heck
[after describing how his house burnt down due to his falling asleep with a cigarette in his mouth] I blame myself, partially.
I want family in this house, Mike. Otherwise it's not Thanksgiving. It's just overeating!
Hey, Brick, you're slowing down. Come on, you've got 30 kids in the class. You've got to keep moving.
Have you guys seen these things? It's candy with words on it. Candy and words, who thought of this?
Brick, you've gotta sign your name to the card, stick it in the envelope with a couple of hearts, lick it. C'mon, Brick, lick, stick, done.
When did they invent these? 'Be mine.' So simple, yet so profound. 'Luv ya.' Genius!
[helping Brick with his Valentine's cards]
Not the one with the lion on it.
Whoa. What's the big deal about this one? 'I like you and I'm not lion!' Someone spent four years in college to come up with that.
That one's for Autumn Wagner.
Oooh, so who's Autumn Wagner?
She has pink lips and can do three cartwheels … in a row!
Wow, no wonder she gets the lion Valentine.
Hi, Mrs. Jacobs. I'm here to talk to you about...
JMrs. Jacobs
Are you a new student?
No. I'm Sue. Sue Heck.
In some cities, cars are status symbols, but out here in the middle, it's sensible people with sensible cars.
Ta-da!
What is this? Your tired of getting eight miles a gallon, you wanted four?
I'm a bus driver!
Wow. So, when did this happen?
Well, you guys have been pressuring me to get a job, so I got a job
What do you mean? We didn't pressure you. We haven't said a word since you've been home from Europe
AAxel
I know, which is actually more annoying than when you say something. You guys are always sharing looks
We don't share looks [scoffs]
Ok. I get it. I'm not an irresponsible college kid anymore, so now, I am a contributing member of society with a job and a salary, but I don't get paid for two more weeks, so I need you to spot me a $20. Oh, my god! You're doing it again!
Look, Axl, we're very proud that you got a job and, frankly, more than a little relieved, but you worked hard to get yourself a business degree
I know! That's the whole point of this sweet gig. I am free to go on interviews in the business world
You're going on interviews with your little hairdo there?
Oh, my god. Step into the twenty-teens, grandpa. They're not gonna judge me on my hair, but I wish they would. You know how much disciple it took... to grow this thing out
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Middle pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.