Kyon and Haruhi in “The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya Part 1”

[Narrating] Ever since that day, talking to Haruhi right before homeroom started becoming sort of a ritual. [Aloud] So, is it true that you've dumped every guy you've ever dated?

And just what gives you the right to ask me a question like that? I don't know about anything you've heard. Whatever. You wanna believe it? It's probably true.

Well, with all that dating, isn't there at least one guy you were even a little serious about?

Absolutely not. They all took themselves way too seriously, and not even one of those guys were an alien, time traveler, or even an esper.

That's how people are normally.

Okay, so what's with most of them asking me out over the phone? I mean, shouldn't important stuff like that be done face-to-face, not phone-to-phone?

[Narrating] I'll just agree with her for now...

Yeah, well none of that's important anyway!

So what is?

Here's the problem: so far the way it looks is that all the men in this entire universe are pathetic. I mean, all throughout junior high, that was the one thing that irritated me the most.

Alright then, so what kind of guy would you have been into? An alien or something?

Yeah. Anything like an alien or something else along those lines. Anyway, as long as the person isn't an ordinary human, I don't care if it's a boy or a girl.

Hold on a sec. What's wrong with being human? I mean, why do they have to be an alien?

Because that way, life's more interesting!